Merry Xmas to all people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it is Xmas time. i didn't feel any about it though. in my mind, Xmas should go with anything to do with snow like snow ball, snow man. however it is summer here. it is sad.

i am too lazy to get out. even it is Xmas eve. i have disppointed my Finish friend many times. she is so positive and enjoy out door activity. but for me , a computer can make up my whole world. it is rediculous. i am abroad to learn more things out of China. how my world become smaller and smaller.  once i touch my computer , i couldn't get off it. well, i have promised Katri to go to her house. i have never kept my promise so far. i am shamed of it. i don't wanna leave bad impression to foreigner. so have decided i should meet her anyway today, then i did a little bit making up. this is my habit. i have changed a lot since i came here. i can't go out without making up. i feel i am so ugly.i always hope that i have would not made up before.unfrotunately, i couldn't get in touch with her finnally. we just say meet in town then text to each other.i have rang her many times but withou any success. her cellphone turnds out to runt out of battery.with such a bad luck, we still didn't catch up with each other.

chinese friends wanna gether together to have hot pot. i am excited. i have been missing hot pot so much. we didn't spend too much , at least it is cheaper than going to restraunt. we had a lot of food as well as some wine.i am getting to used to those alcohol. i feel like drinking now. i dan't know it is good or  bad.

ony guy used to like me. but i refused. we met again after long time no see. a little bit embarrased.but not really much. we used to be friends. so i still like to be his friend.he seems much better than me. texting all the time. i guess it is from more girls than boys. i know what kind of person he is. well , he is really gentle man except he really speak a lot. most of girls don't like boys talking too much. me either.but this is not the point that i refused him. i just feel we are not matched. i think he still avoid me in some extent. we talk a lot though.not in deep, just some joking. i think we could not go back to before anymore.he is not as gentle as before to me , but gentler to the other girl. well, i don't wanna deny that im dissappointed and a little bit sad.sometime i miss his gentleness to me. on the other side, i don't like hime asking me out all the time. i don't know why. i guess he might have some relationship to one of my friends we both know. i am thinking about this all the time. finnaly  he find some excuse to leave earlier. in my eyes , he is rash to meet the girl. i wanna say out. but i didn't finnally. i don't wanna to be said that i care about him.

this is totally not perfect Xmas day. ooops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!