EXAMPLE | Having under consideration how great the influence of company is, and how prone we are all, especially children, to imitation, I must here take the liberty to mind parents of this one thing, viz. That he that will have his son have a respect for him and his orders, must himself have a great reverence for his son. "Maxima debetur pueris reverentia". You must do nothing before him, which you would not have him imitate. If any thing escape you, which you would have pass for a fault in him, he will be sure to shelter himself under your example, and shelter himself so as that it will not be easy to come at him, to correct it in him the right way. If you punish him for what he sees you practise yourself, he will not think that severity to proceed from kindness in you, careful to amend a fault in him; but will be apt to interpret it the peevishness and arbitrary imperiousness of a father, who, without any ground for it, would deny his son the liberty and pleasures he takes himself. Or if you assume to yourself the liberty you have taken, as a privilege belonging to riper years, to which a child must not aspire, you do but add new force to your example, and recommend the action the more powerfully to him. For you must always remember, that children affect to be men earlier than is thought; and they love breeches, not for their cut or ease, but because the having them is a mark or step towards manhood. What I say of the father's carriage before his children, must extend itself to all those who have any authority over them, or for whom he would have them have any respect.
榜样 | 考虑到伙伴的很大影响,以及我们每个人,尤其是孩子,都爱模仿别人,这里我必须提醒父母一件事,就是如果希望他的儿子尊重他和他的命令,他自己必须也要十分尊重他的儿子。"后生可畏"。你一定不要在他面前做任何你不想让他仿效的事情。倘若你不小心做了任何事情,你认为他做就是过错的话,那么他必定会以你的榜样为他的庇护,庇护他自己以致你不易抓住他、也不易用正确的方法纠正他。假如你因为他做了某件事而惩罚他,可是他看见你干过同样的事情,那么他不会认为那严厉是出于你的爱护、是为了小心改正他的缺点;而会以为是出于你做父亲的易怒与独断专横,你自己有自由与快乐,却无理地拒绝儿子有同样的自由与快乐。若是你觉得你自己的自由是大人的特权,小孩是不应该期望的,那么你所做的反而会给你的榜样增加新的吸引力,使得他更想照样去做。因此你要始终记住,小孩喜欢装作成人比想像的要早;他们爱穿马裤,并不是因为马裤剪裁得体或易于穿着,而是因为穿上它是成人的一个标志或步骤。我所说父亲在孩子们面前的举止原则,也要推广适用于一切有权管理小孩或者应受小孩尊敬的人。
But to return to the business of rewards and punishments. All the actions of childishness, and unfashionable carriage, and whatever time and age will of itself be sure to reform, being (as I have said) exempt from the discipline of the rod, there will not be so much need of beating children as is generally made use of. To which if we add learning to read, write, dance, foreign language, etc. as under the same privilege, there will be but very rarely an occasion for blows or force in an ingenuous education. The right way to teach them those things, is, to give them a liking and inclination to what you suppose to them to be learned, and that will engage their industry and application. This I think no hard matter to do, if children be handled as they should be, and the rewards and punishments above-mentioned be carefully applied, and with them these few rules observed in the method of instructing them.
不过回到奖励与惩罚的问题来。所有稚气的行为、不合宜的举止、以及任何时间与年岁能改善的品行, (如我所说的)不受鞭杆的惩处,那就没有多少需要像通常做法那样打孩子了。如果我们把读书、写作、跳舞和外语等等放在同样的特权下,那在正当的教育里面,笞责或强迫是很少用得上的。把这些东西教给他们的正确方法,是使他们喜爱与倾向你要他们学习的东西,这样会激发他们的努力与用功。我认为这不难做到,只要小孩能受到应当的方法对待,上面所述的奖励与惩罚能够小心地施行,同时在教导他们的方法中能遵守下面几条简单的规则。
TASK | 1. None of the things they are to learn, should ever be made a burden to them, or imposed on them as a task. Whatever is so proposed, presently becomes irksome; the mind takes an aversion to it, though before it were a thing of delight or indifferency. Let a child but be ordered to whip his top at a certain time every day, whether he has or has not a mind to it; let this be but required of him as a duty, wherein he must spend so many hours morning and afternoon, and see whether he will not soon be weary of any play at this rate. Is it not so with grown men? What they do cheerfully of themselves, do they not presently grow sick of, and can no more endure, as soon as they find it is expected of them as a duty? Children have as much a mind to shew that they are free, that their own good actions come from themselves, that they are absolute and independent, as any of the proudest of you grown men, think of them as you please.
任务 | 1. 他们要学习的东西,决不能成为他们的负担,也不能作为任务加在他们身上。无论什么事情被建议成任务,马上就成为令人厌烦的;即使那是他们以前高兴或至少不讨厌做的事,他们心理上也厌恶它。假如你命令一个小孩每天定时抽打陀螺,也不管他愿意不愿意;让这成为他的一种责任,他每天早晚必须花很多时间,照这样地话,看他是不是很快对任何游戏都心生厌倦。成人不是一样的吗?他们自己高兴去做的事情,一旦变成了他们的责任,他们是不是立刻就觉得厌倦、难以忍受吗?小孩也爱表示自己是自由的,他们喜欢别人知道他们的良好举动是出于他们自己的,他们是完全独立自主的,不管你如何看待他们,他们和最有自尊心的成人是一样的。
DISPOSITION | 2. As a consequence of this, they should seldom be put about doing even those things you have got an inclination in them to, but when they have a mind and disposition to it. He that loves reading, writing, music, etc. finds yet in himself certain seasons wherein those things have no relish to him: and, if at that time he forces himself to it, he only pothers and wearies himself to no purpose. So it is with children. This change of temper should be carefully observed in them, and the favourable seasons of aptitude and inclination be heedfully laid hold of: and if they are not often enough forward of themselves, a good disposition should be talked into them, before they be set upon any thing. This I think no hard matter for a discreet tutor to do, who has studied his pupil's temper, and will be at a little pains to fill his head with suitable ideas, such as may make him in love with the present business. By this means a great deal of time and tiring would be saved: for a child will learn three times as much when he is in tune, as he will with double the time and pains, when he goes awkwardly, or is dragged unwillingly to it. If this were minded as it should, children might be permitted to weary themselves with play, and yet have time enough to learn what is suited to the capacity of each age. But no such thing is considered in the ordinary way of education, nor can it well be. That rough discipline of the rod is built upon other principles, has no attraction in it, regards not what humour children are in, nor looks after favourable seasons of inclination. And indeed it would be ridiculous, when compulsion and blows have raised an aversion in the child to his task, to expect he should freely of his own accord leave his play, and with pleasure court the occasions of learning: whereas, were matters ordered right, learning any thing they should be taught, might be made as much a recreation to their play, as their play is to their learning. The pains are equal on both sides: nor is it that which troubles them; for they love to be busy, and the change and variety is that which naturally delights them. The only odds is, in that which we call play they act at liberty, and employ their pains (whereof you may observe them never sparing) freely; but what they are to learn, is forced upon them; they are called, compelled, and driven to it. This is that which at first entrance, balks and cools them; they want their liberty: get them but to ask their tutor to teach them, as they do often their play-fellows, instead of his calling upon them to learn; and they being satisfied that they act as freely in this, as they do in other things, they will go on with as much pleasure in it, and it will not differ from their other sports and play. By these ways, carefully pursued, a child may be brought to desire to be taught any thing you have a mind he should learn. The hardest part, I confess, is with the first or eldest; but when once he is set right, it is easy by him to lead the rest whither one will.
意向 | 2. 因此,即使你已经使他们对某些事情有兴趣,但是当他们的心思与意念不在这事上的时候,他们也应该很少被迫使做这事。那热爱读书、写作和音乐等等的人,有时候也会对此感到索然无味;而且假如那时他勉强自己去做,那只会无益地自寻烦恼。小孩也是如此。应该仔细观察他们的性情变化,要细心捕捉他们能力与倾向的有利时机;如果他们本身没有足够的进取精神,那在让他们干任何事情以前,务必要劝说他们有好的意愿。我想这对一个考虑周到的导师来说不是难事,他只要考察学生的脾性,并给他们头脑里灌输恰当的观念,就能使学生喜欢现在的工作。用这方法可以节省很多时间和麻烦:因为小孩有兴致时,学习效率要高两倍;而当他闹别扭或被强迫去做时,要花费双倍的时间与辛苦。假如这层道理得到应有的注意,小孩尽情玩耍,仍然有时间学习各种与他们年龄相符的东西。但是普通的教育方法并不考虑这些,它也没法考虑这些。那种使用教鞭的粗暴管教方法是建立在别种原则之上的,它没有一点吸引力,不留意小孩的心境,也不利用有兴致的好时机。它确实很荒谬,当强制与笞打已让小孩厌恶他的任务,却又期望小孩自动停止游戏,高高兴兴地去学习;其实只要事情处理得当,就像游戏可以作为学习以后的娱乐,学习任何应学的东西也可以作为游戏以后的娱乐。两方面所费的辛苦是相等的:小孩不怕辛苦;因为小孩喜欢忙碌,事情的改动和变化是他们自然就喜欢的。我们所称游戏只有一点优势,就是游戏是小孩自愿去做的,劳累也甘心 (你可以观察到他们游戏时从来不吝惜气力的);但是他们要学习的事情却是强加在他们身上的,他们是被吩咐、被强迫和被驱使去做的。这是他们第一次遇到这种情况时,他们犹豫、冷淡的原因:他们需要自由。应该使他们向导师请教,就像他们常常向玩伴讨教一样,而不是由导师来吩咐他们去学习;而且他们会开心他们有学习上的行为自由,如同他们干别的事情一样,他们就会同样高兴地去学习,这与他们别的运动和游戏没有区别。这种方法如能小心地运用,你可以让小孩愿意学习任何你认为他应该学习的东西。我承认最难的是对付第一个或最大的孩子;但是一旦他弄好了,有他带领,下面的孩子就容易走上正途。
Though it be past doubt, that the fittest time for children to learn any thing is, when their minds are in tune, and well disposed to it; when neither flagging of spirit, nor intentness of thought upon something else, makes them awkward and averse; yet two things are to be taken care of: 1. that these seasons either not being warily observed and laid hold on as often as they return; or else not returning as often as they should; the improvement of the child be not thereby neglected, and so he be let grow into an habitual idleness, and confirmed in this indisposition. 2. That though other things are ill learned when the mind is either indisposed, or otherwise taken up; yet it is of great moment, and worth our endeavours, to teach the mind to get the mastery over itself; and to be able, upon choice, to take itself off from the hot pursuit of one thing, and set itself upon another with facility and delight; or at any time to shake off its sluggishness, and vigorously employ itself about what reason, or the advice of another, shall direct. This is to be done in children, by trying them sometimes, when they are by laziness unbent, or by avocation bent another way, and endeavouring to make them buckle to the thing proposed. If by this means the mind can get an habitual dominion over itself, lay by ideas or business, as occasion requires, and betake itself to new and less acceptable employments, without reluctancy or discomposure, it will be an advantage of more consequence than Latin or logic, or most of those things children are usually required to learn.
毫无疑问,小孩学习任何东西的最佳时机是当他们有兴致、很愿意的时候;那时他们既不会因为情绪低落,又不会因为老想着别的事情,而使得他们别扭和反感;此外还有两件事要注意:1. 要么当这些时机来临的时候,没有当心观察,也没有能把握住,要么这些时机并不经常有;小孩的进步却不能因此忽视,因为这样他会养成习惯性的懒散,并且老是不情不愿的。2. 即便他心里不情愿或心有旁骛,不能好好学习别的事情,那仍然是个重大时机,值得我们努力教导 (他的)心智去把握自己;让它能够经过选择,把它自己从正干得起劲的事情上撤下来,高兴地和得心应手地做另一件事情;或者在任何时候都能摆脱它的惰性,精神旺盛地去做理智或别人建议的事情。有时可以试着让孩子们这样做,当他们懒惰没劲,或是由于嗜好偏向另一件事情时,竭力使他们努力干你提议要做的事情。如果通过这种方法, (他的)心智能够习惯于掌控自己,在必要的时候能放下原来的念头或事物,专注于新的、较难接受的事情,没有犹豫或不安,它可比拉丁语、逻辑、或小孩通常被要求学习的很多东西有益处多了。
COMPULSION | Children being more active and busy in that age, than in any other part of their life, and being indifferent to any thing they can do, so they may be but doing; dancing and scotch-hoppers would be the same thing to them, were the encouragements and discouragements equal. But to things we would have them learn, the great and only discouragement I can observe, is, that they are called to it; it is made their business; they are teased and chid about it, and do it with trembling and apprehension; or, when they come willingly to it, are kept too long at it, till they are quite tired: all which entrenches too much on that natural freedom they extremely affect. And it is that liberty alone, which gives the true relish and delight to their ordinary play-games. Turn the tables, and you will find, they will soon change their application; especially if they see the examples of others, whom they esteem and think above themselves. And if the things which they observe others to do, be ordered so that they insinuate themselves into them, as the privilege of an age or condition above theirs; then ambition, and the desire still to get forward, and higher, and to be like those above them, will set them on work, and make them go on with vigour and pleasure; pleasure in what they have begun by their own desire. In which way the enjoyment of their dearly beloved freedom will be no small encouragement to them. To all which, if there be added the satisfaction of credit and reputation, I am apt to think, there will need no other spur to excite their application and assiduity, as much as is necessary. I confess, there needs patience and skill, gentleness and attention, and a prudent conduct to attain this at first. But why have you a tutor, if there needed no pains? But when this is once established, all the rest will follow more easily, than in any more severe and imperious discipline. And I think it no hard matter to gain this point; I am sure it will not be, where children have no ill examples set before them. The great danger therefore, I apprehend, is only from servants, and other ill-ordered children, or such other vicious or foolish people, who spoil children, both by the ill pattern they set before them in their own ill manners, and by giving them together, the two things they should never have at once; I mean, vicious pleasures and commendation.
强迫 | 小孩在这个年龄比他们一生中任何别的阶段都活跃与好动,他们不在乎做什么,只要有事可干;如果鼓励和阻拦是相等的,跳舞与"跳房子",在他们看来是一样的。但是对于我们要他们学习的东西,我所知道的重大而唯一的阻碍是,他们被要求去做;那成为他们的任务,他们被取笑、被责骂,使他们战战兢兢地做事;或者当他们愿意做事时,让他们干得太久,直到他们很疲倦了;这都是太大地侵犯他们极为看重的当然的自由。而且只要有自由,他们就能从平常的游戏得到真正的趣味和快乐。情况翻转,你会发现他们很快改做别的事情;特别是他们看到他们所敬重并自认不如的人的榜样时更是如此。假如他们看见别人所做的事情,安排得能暗示他们那是年龄大与地位高的人的特权;那么抱负、上进心以及希望地位上升到与上层人一样的欲望,会促使他们工作,使他们用力地、快乐地前行;这快乐是来源于他们自己愿望所启动的事功。由此他们享受到他们珍爱的自由,这对他们会是不小的鼓舞。在所有这一切中再加上荣誉与名声所带来的满足,我觉得不需要再用别的方法来鞭策鼓励他们勤勉与刻苦。我承认要达到这个目的,最初是需要耐心与技巧、温柔与关心、以及小心谨慎。都是如果不需要辛苦的话,那你要导师干什么?一旦这一点做到了,其余一切都会更容易跟着做到,不必有任何更严厉、更专横的纪律处罚。我确信,当小孩面前没有不良榜样,这是不难办到的。因此我认为,这巨大的危险只来源于仆人和其他不良少年,或别的邪恶或愚蠢的人,他们败坏孩子,既出于他们不良举止所作的坏榜样,又出于他们同时给予小孩两个不能在一起的东西:就是我所说的,邪恶的快乐和恭维。
CHIDING | As children should very seldom be corrected by blows, so I think frequent, and especially passionate chiding of almost as ill consequence. It lessens the authority of the parents, and the respect of the child; for I bid you still remember, they distinguish early betwixt passion and reason: and as they cannot but have a reverence for what comes from the latter, so they quickly grow into a contempt of the former; or if it causes a present terror, yet it soon wears off, and natural inclination will easily learn to slight such scare-crows which make a noise, but are not animated by reason. Children being to be restrained by the parents only in vicious (which, in their tender years, are only a few) things, a look or nod only ought to correct them when they do amiss; or, if words are sometimes to be used, they ought to be grave, kind, and sober, representing the ill or unbecomingness of the faults, rather than a hasty rating of the child for it; which makes him not sufficiently distinguish, whether your dislike be not more directed to him than his fault. Passionate chiding usually carries rough and ill language with it, which has this fartser ill effect, that it teaches and justifies it in children: and the names that their parents or preceptors give them, they will not be ashamed or backward to bestow on others, having so good authority for the use of them.
责骂 | 因为小孩应该很少受责打来纠正错误,所以我认为经常的,尤其盛怒的呵斥也有差不多的坏效果。它降低父母的威信,减少孩子对父母的尊敬;因为你要记住,他们很早就能区分愤怒与理智:而且因为他们不能不敬畏出于理智的东西,所以他们很快会藐视出于愤怒的东西;或许愤怒会引起现时的恐惧,但那很快会逐渐消失,他们会自然看轻这只有噪音、没有原因的虚声恫喝。小孩只有做了邪恶事情的时候 (这在他们幼小的时候是很少的),才由父母加以制裁,他们若只是做错了事,一个眼色或一个点头示意就能纠正他们;或是需用话语责备,那应该用沉重、友善而又严肃的语气,以表明这过犯的坏处或缺点,而不只是匆匆责骂他一下;因为这会使他分不清你生气是针对他还是针对他的过失。愤怒的斥责常常带有粗暴和恶意的语言,这还有一个坏处,就是教会与许可小孩也去用这种语言:父母或老师骂他们的话,他们不会觉得羞愧地或有顾虑地用在别人身上,因为有很好的权威用了这些话。
OBSTINACY | I foresee here it will be objected to me: what then, will you have children never beaten, nor chid, for any fault? this will be to let loose the reins to all kind of disorder. Not so much as is imagined, if a right course has been taken in the first seasoning of their minds, and implanting that awe of their parents above mentioned. For beating, by constant observation, is found to do little good, where the smart of it is all the punishment is feared or felt in it; for the influence of that quickly wears out, with the memory of it. But yet there is one, and but one fault, for which, I think, children should be beaten; and that is obstinacy or rebellion. And in this too, I would have it ordered so, if it can be, that the shame of the whipping, and not the pain, should be the greatest part of the punishment. Shame of doing amiss, and deserving chastisement, is the only true restraint belonging to virtue. The smart of the rod, if shame accompanies it not, soon ceases, and is forgotten, and will quickly, by use, lose its terror. I have known the children of a person of quality kept in awe, by the fear of having their shoes pulled off, as much as others by apprehensions of a rod hanging over them. Some such punishment I think better than beating; for it is shame of the fault, and the disgrace that attends it, that they should stand in fear of, rather than pain, if you would have them have a temper truly ingenuous. But stubbornness, and an obstinate disobedience, must be mastered with force and blows: for this there is no other remedy. Whatever particular action you bid him to do, or forbear, you must be sure to see yourself obeyed; no quarter, in this case, no resistance. For when once it comes to be a trial of skill, a contest for mastery betwixt you, as it is, if you command, and he refuses; you must be sure to carry it, whatever blows it costs, if a nod or words will not prevail; unless, for ever after, you intend to live in obedience to your son. A prudent and kind mother, of my acquaintance, was, on such an occasion, forced to whip her little daughter, at her first coming home from nurse, eight times successively, the same morning, before she could master her stubbornness, and obtain a compliance in a very easy and indifferent matter. If she had left off sooner, and stopped at the seventh whipping, she had spoiled the child for ever; and, by her unprevailing blows, only confirmed her refractoriness, very hardly afterwards to be cured: but wisely persisting, till she had bent her mind, and suppled her will, the only end of correction and chastisement, she established her authority thoroughly in the very first occasions, and had ever after a very ready compliance and obedience in all things from her daughter. For, as this was the first time, so, I think, it was the last too she ever struck her.
顽固 | 我预料这里会有人反对我:你既不主张打,又不主张骂,那小孩有任何过错,还有什么办法呢?这岂不是放松缰绳让各种毛病都出来吗。如果我们开始就用正确的方法训练他们的心智,并且照以前说的,在其中植根对父母的敬畏,情况并不是想像的这样。因为鞭打,像一直观察发现的,没有一点好处,惩罚为人所惧怕或感觉的是它带来的疼痛;因为它的影响随着记忆一同很快消失。但是有且仅有一个过失,我认为小孩应受鞭打;那就是顽固或叛逆。而在这种情况下,我也主张在可能的范围内,把抽打带来的羞辱而不是痛苦,作为惩罚的最主要部分。为犯错以及由此受到的惩罚而羞愧,是德行上的唯一真正约束。体罚的疼痛,如果没有羞愧相伴,很快就停止、被遗忘,很快因使用多而不再可怕了。我知道一个高素质的人的孩子怎样保持敬畏,他们惧怕被人脱掉鞋子,正如别的孩子惧怕鞭答一样。我认为脱掉鞋子这类惩罚比鞭打好;因为假如你愿他们具有一种真正坦诚的性情,他惧怕的应是犯错的羞辱和纠正惩罚带来的不名誉,而不是痛苦。但是倔强与顽抗是应该用强制和鞭打去克服的,因为除此之外没有别的纠正办法。无论什么特定行为你让他做或是禁止他做,你一定要确保你的命令被执行;不打折扣,没有抵触。因为一旦到了你和孩子之间考验技巧、比试谁做主的地步,假如你再下命令,他会拒绝;你一定要确定你会获胜,如果点头示意或口头命令不能奏效,那么任何抽打也在所不惜;除非你打算服从你的儿子去生活。我认识一个聪明仁慈的母亲,遇到这样一个境况,在她的小女儿刚从保姆那里回家的同一个早上,不得不接连八次责打小女儿,直到克服她的顽固不化,取得她在一个很容易、很无关紧要的事情上的顺从。假如她早一点放手,打到第七次便不再打了,她从此就把孩子毁了;她徒劳的抽打,只会巩固她的顽固执拗,日后极难纠正过来;但是她明智地坚持下去,直到使女儿的心理屈服,意志变顺从,达到这种惩罚与责打的惟一目的,她在这第一个时机中就彻底地树立了威信,从此以后在所有事上她的女儿都是立即遵守服从的。这是这位母亲第一次鞭打她的女儿,我相信也是最后一次。
The pain of the rod, the first occasion that requires it, continued and increased without leaving off, till it has thoroughly prevailed; should first bend the mind, and settle the parents authority: and then gravity, mixed with kindness, should for ever after keep it.
在第一次需要运用鞭笞的痛苦之后,要继续加大力度,不要中止,直到它完全奏效;要首先改变小孩的心理,树立父母的威信;然后严肃与仁慈相结合,就可以永远保持这威信。
This, if well reflected on, would make people more wary in the use of the rod and the cudgel; and keep them from being so apt to think beating the safe and universal remedy, to be applied at random, on all occasions. This is certain however, if it does no good, it does great harm; if it reaches not the mind, and makes not the will supple, it hardens the offender; and, whatever pain he has suffered for it, it does but endear to him his beloved stubbornness, which has got him this time the victory, and prepares him to contest and hope for it for the future. Thus, I doubt not, but by illordered correction, many have been taught to be obstinate and refractory, who otherwise would have been very pliant and tractable. For, if you punish a child so, as if it were only to revenge the past fault, which has raised your choler; what operation can this have upon his mind, which is the part to be amended? If there were no sturdy humour or wilfulness mixed with his fault, there was nothing in it, that required the severity of blows. A kind, or grave admonition is enough, to remedy the slips of frailty, forgetfulness, or inadvertency, and is as much as they will stand in need of. But, if there were a perverseness in the will, if it were a designed, resolved disobedience, the punishment is not to be measured by the greatness or smallness of the matter wherein it appeared, but by the opposition it carries, and stands in, to that respect and submission that is due to the father's orders; which must always be rigorously exacted, and the blows by pauses laid on, till they reach the mind, and you perceive the signs of a true sorrow, shame, and purpose of obedience.
如果仔细考虑这道理,大家就会更小心谨慎地使用棍棒来体罚,他们就不会轻易认为鞭打是安全万能的纠正办法,可以在各种场合随便乱用。这是确定无疑的,鞭笞如果不能有好结果,必然会有大弊端;它如果不能触及小孩的心灵并使他的意志柔顺,必然会使犯规者强硬;而且他为此所经受的痛苦会使他更喜欢他所钟爱的倔脾气,因为这脾气使他这次得胜,也预备他再去较量并希望将来再得胜。所以我认为,不得法的惩戒,把许多本来可以变得温顺驯服的人,教得倔强顽固了。因为如果你这样惩罚小孩,仿佛只为报复他以往的错误激怒过你,那什么措施可以用来改进他的心思意念呢?如果小孩的过犯中没有顽固或任性的成分,那就没有什么值得用严厉的责打。一个温和或严肃的训诫就足够改正他们一时的软弱、健忘或怠慢,也是他们至多所需要的。但是假如意志乖谬,假如那是故意、坚决的违抗,那么惩罚的力度不是根据事态的大小来定,而是根据他对父亲的命令不敬重、不服从的程度来决定;父亲的命令必须始终严格地执行的,如有停顿就须责打,直到责打的效果达到他的心灵,而且你能察觉到真正忏悔、羞耻和自愿服从的迹象为止。
This, I confess, requires something more than setting children a task, and whipping them without any more ado, if it be not done, and done to our fancy. This requires care, attention, observation, and a nice study of children's tempers, and weighing their faults well, before we come to this sort of punishment. But is not that better, than always to have the rod in hand, as the only instrument of government; and, by frequent use of it, on all occasions, misapply and render inefficacious this last and useful remedy, where there is need of it? For, what else can be expected, when it is promiscuously used upon every little slip? When a mistake in concordance, or a wrong position in verse, shall have the severity of the lash, in a well-tempered and industrious lad, as surely as a wilful crime in an obstinate and perverse offender; how can such a way of correction be expected to do good on the mind, and set that right? which is the only thing to be looked after; and, when set right, brings all the rest that you can desire along with it.
我认为这要求不只是给小孩布置一个任务,一旦他们没有做、或是做得不如我们的意,就责打他们了事的。这需要关怀、照顾、观察,详细研究小孩的脾性,还有仔细衡量他们的过失,然后决定给予处罚。难道这不比手里时时拿着一根教鞭,把它当作管束小孩的唯一方法更好;岂不比在一切境况下频繁施用,用之不当弄得这个最后的、有用的纠正办法,到了必需采用的时候也失掉了它的效力好吗?因为如果小孩每次出一点小错,便胡乱地鞭打,那还有什么可用的呢?只因查错了圣经的索引,或找错了圣经章节的位置,一个好脾气的、勤恳的孩子就要受到严厉的鞭挞,与一个执拗乖僻小孩的故意犯事一样对待;怎么能期望这种矫正方法在心灵上起好作用,使其端正呢?这是我们唯一应该追求的;当心灵在正途上,你所希冀的其余一切事情都随之弄好了。
Where a wrong bent of the will wants not amendment, there can be no need of blows. All other faults, where the mind is rightly disposed, and refuses not the government and authority of the father or tutor, are but mistakes, and may often be over-looked; or, when they are taken notice of, need no other but the gentle remedies of advice, direction, and reproof; till the repeated and wilful neglect of those shows the fault to be in the mind, and that a manifest perverseness of the will lies at the root of their disobedience. But whenever obstinacy, which is an open defiance, appears, that cannot be winked at, or neglected, but must, in the first instance, be subdued and mastered; only care must be had, that we mistake not; and we must be sure it is obstinacy, and nothing else.
意愿上的错误倾向如果不需要改正,那就用不着鞭打。其它的所有过失,只要小孩心智正常,不反抗父亲或导师的管束与权威,这都只是小错,通常可以不加理会;或者当关注到时,也只需要温和的劝告、指导和责备;除非是反复地、故意地忽视规劝,表明毛病在心理上,意志明显的倔强是不服从的根本原因。一旦发现了顽固,出现公然的反抗之时,我们不能假装看不见或加以忽视,而必须在它初次出现的时候,加以克服与控制;只是要注意我们不可弄错,我们一定要确定它是顽固,而不是别的任何东西。
But since the occasions of punishment, especially beating, are as much to be avoided as may be, I think it should not be often brought to this point. If the awe I spoke of be once got, a look will be sufficient in most cases. Nor indeed should the same carriage, seriousness, or application be expected from young children, as from those of riper growth. They must be permitted, as I said, the foolish and childish actions, suitable to their years, without taking notice of them; inadvertency, carelessness, and gaiety, is the character of that age. I think the severity I spoke of, is not to extend itself to such unseasonable restraints; nor is that hastily to be interpreted obstinacy or wilfulness, which is the natural product of their age or temper. In such miscarriages they are to be assisted, and helped towards an amendment, as weak people under a natural infirmity; which, though they are warned of, yet every relapse must not be counted a perfect neglect, and they presently treated as obstinate. Faults of frailty, as they should never be neglected, or let pass without minding; so, unless the will mix with them, they should never be exaggerated, or very sharply reproved; but with a gentle hand set right, as time and age permit. By this means, children will come to see what is in any miscarriage, that is chiefly offensive, and so learn to avoid it. This will encourage them to keep their wills right, which is the great business; when they find, that it preserves them from any great displeasure; and that in all their other failings they meet with the kind concern and help, rather than the anger and passionate reproaches of their tutor and parents. Keep them from vice, and vicious dispositions, and such a kind of behaviour in general will come, with every degree of their age, as is suitable to that age, and the company they ordinarily converse with: and as they grow in years, they will grow in attention and application. But that your words may always carry weight and authority with them, if it shall happen, upon any occasion, that you bid him leave off the doing of any even childish things, you must be sure to carry the point, and not let him have the mastery. But yet, I say, I would have the father seldom interpose his authority and command in these cases, or in any other, but such as have a tendency to vicious habits. I think there are better ways of prevailing with them; and a gentle persuasion in reasoning (when the first point of submission to your will is got) will most times do much better.
但是因为时常的惩罚,特别是鞭打,应该尽量避免,我认为最好是不要经常弄到这个地步。如果我所说的小孩敬畏心被确立了,多数场合只要一个眼色就足够了。而且也不能期望年轻的孩子与成熟的人有一样的举止、严肃认真或勤勉用功。我说过应当允许适合他们的年纪傻傻的和幼稚的举动,不必多加在意;粗心大意和嬉闹调皮是这个年龄的特点。我觉得我提到的严厉方法不应该推广到这种不合时宜的约束;而且小孩年龄或脾性的自然产物也不应该草率地当作顽固不化或有意反抗。在他们需要帮助的失误方面,应该把他们当作天然的弱者,帮助他们去改正;即使那些被警告过的失误重新出现,也不能认为是完全怠慢疏忽,而立即当作顽固去处理。意志薄弱所产生的过失固然决不能忽视,也不能不提醒他们;但是除非这过失含有故意的成分,那决不能夸大其辞,或是指摘得太厉害;只能在时间与年龄许可的范围内,用温和的手段将其改正过来。通过这样的方法,小孩会明白任何过失中主要令人反感的,并且学着避免它。这可以鼓励他们保持正确的意志,这是很重大的事务;他们发现正确的意志会保护他们不经受重大的不快;他们其它一切的弱点会得到导师与父母的亲切关怀与帮助,而不是愤怒与生气的责骂。让他们避免邪恶和邪恶的性格,随着他们对各个年龄的适应以及他们与伙伴的正常交往,他们总会养成这样的行为:他们年龄愈长,他们愈能用心与努力。但是为使你说的话永远具有力量与威信,万一有需要,你要吩咐他停止做任何幼稚的行为,你一定要达到目的,不可让他占了上风。不过我主张父亲对于这些情形最好少用权威与命令,除非小孩有形成邪恶习惯的倾向。我认为还有更好的方法可以说服他们;只要你一开始就使小孩服从你的意志,那在大多数的时候,温和地据理劝戒会有更好的效果。
REASONING | It will perhaps be wondered, that I mention reasoning with children: and yet I cannot but think that the true way of dealing with them. They understand it as early as they do language; and, if I mis-observe not, they love to be treated as rational creatures, sooner than is imagined. It is a pride should be cherished in them, and, as much as can be, made the greatest instrument to turn them by.
讲理 | 大家也许会奇怪我提到与小孩讲理:但是我不能不认为讲理是对待小孩的真正办法。小孩一到懂语言的时候,就懂道理了;假如我没看错的话,他们希望被当作理性造物比想像的要早。他们这种自豪的态度是应当得到珍惜,我们也应量利用它,把它作为支配小孩的最好工具。
But when I talk of reasoning, I do not intend any other, but such as is suited to the child’s capacity and apprehension. Nobody can think a boy of three or seven years old should be argued with as a grown man. Long discourses, and philosophical reasonings, at best, amaze and confound, but do not instruct, children. When I say, therefore, that they must be treated as rational creatures, I mean that you should make them sensible, by the mildness of your carriage, and the composure, even in your correction of them, that what you do is reasonable in you, and useful and necessary for them; and that it is not out of caprice, passion, or fancy, that you command or forbid them any thing. This they are capable of understanding; and there is no virtue they should be excited to, nor fault they should be kept from, which I do not think they may be convinced of: but it must be by such reasons as their age and understanding are capable of, and those proposed always in very few and plain words. The foundations on which several duties are built, and the fountains of right and wrong, from which they spring, are not, perhaps, easily to be let into the minds of grown men, not used to abstract their thoughts from common received opinions. Much less are children capable of reasonings from remote principles. They cannot conceive the force of long deductions: the reasons that move them must be obvious and level to their thoughts, and such as may (if I may so say) be felt and touched. But yet, if their age, temper, and inclinations, be considered, they will never want such motives, as may be sufficient to convince them. If there be no other more particular, yet these will always be intelligible, and of force, to deter them from any fault, fit to be taken notice of in them, viz. that it will be a discredit and disgrace to them, and displease you.
但是我所说的讲理,是指要适合小孩的能力与理解力。没有谁会把一个三岁或七岁的男孩当作成人一样来和他辩论。长篇大论的讲道和富有哲学意味的思辨,不过使得小孩到惊奇与迷惑而已,并不能教导他们。所以,我说他们必须作为理性动物来对待,是说,即使你要纠正他们,你也应该用温和的举止与镇定的态度,让他们明白你所做的是合理的,对他们是有益与必要的;而且你吩咐或禁止他们做任何事情,不是出于任性,一时的热情或空想。这是他们能够懂得的;我觉得没有什么他们应该激动的美德,也没有他们应该避免的过失,不能以理劝服他们:但是这道理必须是与他们的年龄与理解力相适应,并且用简短清楚的话语表达出来。至于责任的基础,是非的根源,对于不习惯从通常的意见中抽象出自己思想的成人来说,也是不容易在他们心中建立的。小孩就更不能从不相干的原则来思考推理。他们不能理解冗长的推理演绎:能够打动他们的道理必须很明显,适合他们思维的水平, (如果我能这样说的话)就像他们能感觉与触摸到似的。不过,若是他们的年龄、性情和爱好能被考虑到,就绝不会缺少这可以说服他们的动机的。如果没有其它特别的力量可以阻止他们犯任何值得注意的过失,只要他们知道这过失会使得他们名声扫地、蒙受耻辱、失掉你的欢心的,这就常常可以让他们明白,并且让他们有动力不犯这过失。
EXAMPLES | But, of all the ways whereby children are to be instructed, and their manners formed, the plainest, easiest, and most efficacious, is to set before their eyes the examples of those things you would have them do or avoid. Which, when they are pointed out to them, in the practice of persons within their knowledge, with some reflections on their beauty or unbecomingness, are of more force to draw or deter their imitation, than any discourses which can be made to them. Virtues and vices can by no words be so plainly set before their understandings, as the actions of other men will show them, when you direct their observation, and bid them view this or that good or bad quality in their practice. And the beauty or uncomeliness of many things, in good and ill breeding, will be better learnt, and make deeper impressions on them, in the examples of others, than from any rules or instructions can be given about them.
榜样 | 但是在各种教导小孩以及培养他们举止的方法中,最筒明、最容易而又最有效的办法是在他们面前树立要他们应该作或应该避免的事情的榜样。一旦你把他们认识的人的榜样指给他们看,同时反省它们为什么漂亮或有缺陷,这比任何对他们的说教,有更大的力量吸引或阻止他们去模仿。当你指导他们去观察,吩咐他们看看别人行为的优劣之处,他们看到的这些行为,比任何话语更能使他们明白什么是美德与邪恶。这种看别人的榜样的方法,能使小孩更好地学习到好的或坏的教养中许多事情的美丽或丑陋,会给他们留下更深刻印象,这是任何规矩或指令都做不到的。
This is a method to be used, not only whilst they are young; but to be continued, even as long as they shall be under another's tuition or conduct. Nay, I know not whether it be not the best way to be used by a father, as long as he shall think fit, on any occasion, to reform any thing he wishes mended in his son; nothing sinking so gently, and so deep, into men's minds, as example. And what ill they either overlook, or indulge in themselves, they cannot but dislike, and be ashamed of, when it is set before them in another.
这种方法不仅应该在孩子年轻时候运用,只要他们还在别人的教导或指导之下,都可以继续使用。而且我认为父亲只要觉得合适,无论何时,他都可以把它当作一个最好的方法去改正他希望儿子改进的任何事项;没有什么能象榜样一样能够温和地而深刻地进入人的心里。而且无论什么坏事小孩忽略或容忍自己做了,一旦看见别人同样做了,他们没有不厌恶、不羞愧的。
WHIPPING | It may be doubted concerning whipping, when, as the last remedy, it comes to be necessary; at what times, and by whom it should be done: whether presently upon the committing the fault, whilst it is yet fresh and hot; and whether parents themselves should beat their children. As to the first; I think it should not be done presently, lest passion mingle with it: and so, though it exceed the just proportion, yet it loses of its due weight; for even children discern when we do things in passion. But, as I said before, that has most weight with them, that appears sedately to come from their parents reason; and they are not without this distinction. Next, if you have any discreet servant capable of it, and has the place of governing your child, (for if you have a tutor, there is no doubt,) I think it is best the smart should come more immediately from another's hand, though by the parent's order, who should see it done; whereby the parent's authority will be preserved, and the child's aversion, for the pain it suffers, rather be turned on the person that immediately inflicts it. For I would have a father seldom strike his child, but upon very urgent necessity, and as the last remedy; and then perhaps it will be fit to do it so, that the child should not quickly forget it.
抽打 | 大家也许会怀疑抽打作为最后的矫正手段必须要用时,究竟是什么时间,由谁来实施:是否应该在犯错的当时,当错误还很热乎新鲜时实施;是否由父母亲自打孩子。对第一点我主张不要在犯错后立即进行,免得感情用事:若是如此,即使责打超出应该的程度,也会失去它的效力;因为小孩能够分辨我们感情用事。但是就如我在前面讲过,凡是沉着地从父母的理智出发的,就能发挥最大的效力;而且他们不是不能分辨这种区别的。其次,你如果有一个谨慎的仆人能够执行鞭打,你又有管教孩子的地方 (假如你有导师的话,你必定有地方),我认为鞭笞的痛苦最好直接出自于别人之手,虽然那是父母命令的,父母也要监视它的执行;这样一来,父母的威信可以保持,小孩因蒙受痛苦所生的怨恨就会转向执行鞭打的人。因为我觉得除非万不得已,作为最后的弥补办法,父亲不可多去鞭打儿子的;只有到了那种情形之下,做父亲的才能亲自去执行,以免小孩很快就忘记了。
But, as I said before, beating is the worst, and therefore the last, means to be used in the correction of children; and that only in cases of extremity, after all gentler ways have been tried, and proved unsuccessful: which, if well observed, there will be very seldom any need of blows. For, it not being to be imagined that a child will often, if ever, dispute his father's present command in any particular instance; and the father not interposing his absolute authority, in peremptory rules, concerning either childish or indifferent actions, wherein his son is to have his liberty; nor concerning his learning or improvement, wherein there is no compulsion to be used; there remains only the prohibition of some vicious actions, wherein a child is capable of obstinacy, and consequently can deserve beating: and so there will be but very few occasions of that discipline to be used by any one, who considers well, and orders his child's education as it should be. For the first seven years, what vices can a child be guilty of, but lying, or some ill-natured tricks; the repeated commission whereof, after his father's direct command against it, shall bring him into the condemnation of obstinacy, and the chastisement of the rod? If any vicious inclination in him be, in the first appearance and instances of it, treated as it should be, first, with your wonder; and then, if returning again a second time, discountenanced with the severe brow of the father, tutor, and all about him, and a treatment suitable to the state of discredit before mentioned; and this continued till he be made sensible and ashamed of his fault; I imagine there will be no need of any other correction, nor ever any occasion to come to blows. The necessity of such chastisement is usually the consequence only of former indulgences or neglects. If vicious inclinations were watched from the beginning, and the first irregularities which they caused, corrected by those gentler ways, we should seldom have to do with more than one disorder at once; which would be easily set right without any stir or noise, and not require so harsh a discipline as beating. Thus, one by one, as they appeared, they might all be weeded out, without any signs or memory that ever they had been there. But we letting their faults (by indulging and humouring our little ones) grow up till they are sturdy and numerous, and the deformity of them makes us ashamed and uneasy, we are fain to come to the plough and the harrow; the spade and the pick-ax must go deep to come at the roots, and all the force, skill, and diligence we can use, is scarce enough to cleanse the vitiated seed-plat overgrown with weeds, and restore us the hopes of fruits to reward our pains in its season.
但是我前面说过,鞭打是最坏的、因此也是最后的纠正小孩的手段;而且它只能是在极端的情形下,所有温和的方法试过并证明无效之后:其实如果温和的方法运用得法,是很少需要用到鞭笞的。因为,即使小孩在某件事上偶尔会违反父亲当时的命令,但难以想像他会经常违反;而且父亲也不通过专横的规矩,用他绝对的权威来干涉儿子幼稚的或无关紧要的行为,而那是小孩应该享有的自由;或者干涉小孩的学习进步,而那本用不着强迫的;剩下的只是要防止某些邪恶的行为,于此小孩可能会顽固不化,所以需要鞭笞:一个人只要考虑周全,正确地安排小孩的教育,就不会有多少场合要用鞭笞这一纪律手段。在小孩七岁以前,除了撒谎或者一些居心不良的的恶作剧以外,还会有什么邪恶,竟会在父亲明令禁止以后,反复重犯,以致被人认为顽固不化,需要施以鞭笞呢?如果小孩有任何邪恶的倾向,能被正确处理:刚有苗头的时候,向他表示你的惊愕;如有再犯,父亲、导师及一切亲近的人都要用严厉的神色让他蒙羞,并且用以前所说对待丧失名誉的小孩的方法去待他;这样直到他明白他的过失并为之羞愧;我想这样就用不着任何别的惩治方法,也就更不会用到鞭笞了。鞭笞的必要常常是以前纵容或忽视的后果。如果邪恶的倾向一开始就被注意,当它们刚引起不当的行为,就用那些温和的方法纠正,我们应该很少会要一次对付一个以上的毛病;那就很容易不动声色地改正,也用不着鞭笞这一严厉的纪律处罚。于是,当毛病出现时,就可以一个接一个地全部清除,不留下它们出现过的一点痕迹或记忆。但是我们纵容迁就我们的小宝贝,让他们的过失滋长,直到它们根深蒂固、数不胜数,而且它们的畸变让我们羞愧不安,我们不能不借用犁耙来铲除;那时锄铲必须要深入到根,即使用尽我们所有的力量、技巧和功夫,也不能清理干净杂草丛生的苗圃,恢复我们的希望 --- 在收获的季节得到回报我们辛苦的果实。
This course, if observed, will spare both father and child the trouble of repeated injunctions, and multiplied rules of doing and forbearing. For I am of opinion, that of those actions, which tend to vicious habits, (which are those alone that a father should interpose his authority and commands in,) none should be forbidden children, till they are found guilty of them. For such untimely prohibitions, if they do nothing worse, do at least so much towards teaching and allowing them, that they suppose that children may be guilty of them, who would possibly be safer in the ignorance of any such faults. And the best remedy to stop them, is, as I have said, to show wonder and amazement at any such action as hath a vicious tendency, when it is first taken notice of in a child. For example, when he is first found in a lie, or any ill-natured trick, the first remedy should be, to talk to him of it as a strange monstrous matter, that it could not be imagined he would have done: and so shame him out of it.
这种方法如果能施行,父子双方都可避免的重复的禁令,以及不胜枚举的规则规定做或不做什么。因为我认为,就是那些会导致邪恶习惯 (这才是父亲应该用权威与命令加以干涉的)的行为,当小孩没有违犯之前,也不要事先禁止。因为这种过早的禁令,即使不让事情更坏,至少也不啻告诉小孩,父亲料想小孩会违反这些禁令;而小孩不知道这些禁令还更安全。而阻止这些过失的最好方法,我已说过,是一发现小孩的行为有邪恶的倾向时,就立即向他表示一种惊愕诧异的态度。譬如他第一次说谎或是作出了居心不良的的恶作剧,最初的纠正方法应该是把它当作一件奇怪可怕的事,想不到他居然会作出这样的事:这样让他羞愧而不做这种事情。
It will be (it is like) objected, that whatsoever I fancy of the tractableness of children, and the prevalency of those softer ways of shameand commendation; yet there are many, who will never apply themselves to their books, and to what they ought to learn, unless they are scourged to it. This I fear is nothing but the language of ordinary schools and fashion, which have never suffered the other to be tried as it should be, in places where it could be taken notice of. Why, else, does the learning of Latin and Greek need the rod, when French and Italian need it not? Children learn to dance and fence without whipping: nay, arithmetic, drawing, etc. they apply themselves well enough to, without beating: which would make one suspect, that there is something strange, unnatural, and disagreeable to that age, in the things required in grammar-schools, or in the methods used there, that children cannot be brought to, without the severity of the lash, and hardly with that too; or else, that it is a mistake, that those tongues could not be taught them without beating.
也许有人 (这是会有的)会要提出异议,无论我觉得小孩怎样驯服听话,利用羞辱与称赞的温和方法怎样有效;但是仍旧有许多小孩,若是没有鞭笞责打,他们是决不肯自动地去读书,去学习他们应该学习的东西。这恐怕是平常学校和流行的语言教学,在它应该注意的地方,没有像别的教学一样通过应该的实验。为什么学习拉丁语和希腊语需要棍棒,而法语和意大利语不需要呢?小孩学习跳舞与击剑不用抽打;而且学算术、画画等等,他们也能自己尽力,不用鞭笞;这不由得让人怀疑,文法学校教的东西或方法有什么奇怪、不自然、与年纪不符的地方,使小孩不经严厉责打不愿学习或勉强学习;或者,那种语言不经鞭打不能教会的说法是错误的。
But let us suppose so some negligent or idle, that they will not be brought to learn by the gentle ways proposed (for we must grant, that there will be children found of all tempers); yet it does not thence follow, that the rough discipline of the cudgel is to be used to all. Nor can any one be concluded unmanageable by the milder methods of government, till they have been thoroughly tried upon him; and, if they will not prevail with him to use his endeavours, and do what is in his power to do, we make no excuses for the obstinate: blows are the proper remedies for those: but blows laid on, in a way different from the ordinary. He that wilfully neglects his book, and stubbornly refuses any thing he can do, required of him by his father, expressing himself in a positive serious command, should not be corrected with two or three angry lashes, for not performing his task, and the same punishment repeated again and again, upon every the like default: but, when it is brought to that pass, that wilfulness evidently shows itself, and makes blows necessary; I think the chastisement should be a little more sedate, and a little more severe, and the whipping (mingled with admonition between) so continued, till the impressions of it on the mind were found legible in the face, voice, and submission of the child, not so sensible of the smart, as of the fault he has been guilty of, and melting in true sorrow under it. If such a correction as this, tried some few times at fit distances, and carried to the utmost severity, with the visible displeasure of the father all the while, will not work the effect, turn the mind, and produce a future compliance; what can be hoped from blows, and to what purpose should they be any more used? Beating, when you can expect no good from it, will look more like the fury of an enraged enemy, than the good-will of a compassionate friend; and such chastisement carries with it only provocation, without any prospect of amendment. If it be any father's misfortune to have a son thus perverse and untractable, I know not what more he can do but pray for him. But I imagine, if a right course be taken with children from the beginning, very few will be found to be such; and when there are any such instances, they are not to be the rule for the education of those who are better natured, and may be managed with better usage.
但是就让我们设想有的小孩如此懒散或懒惰,以至于不能用建议的温和办法让他们学习 (因为我们必须承认世上有各种脾性的小孩);那也不能说,棒打的粗暴纪律处罚应该用到所有小孩身上。而且在比较温和的方法没有在小孩身上彻底尝试以前,不可下结论说他不能够被这些方法管束;万一温和的方法不能使小孩努力做他该干的事,我们也不会原谅这种顽固不化的小孩:对他们鞭打就是正确的纠正方法;但是鞭笞的方式要与一般的情况不同。那种故意不读书,父亲正面严厉地下了命令,仍旧执意不肯去做他所能做的事情的小孩,不可因为他没有执行任务而只是恨恨地打两三下了事,而当他犯了同样过失时,又去同样反复惩罚;而是当明知故犯,不得不鞭打时,我觉得惩罚应该更加从容一点、更加严厉一点,并且抽打 (夹杂着训诫)要继续,直到它在心理上留下的影响能从小孩的面容、声音与屈服中表现出来,不仅是因为感觉痛苦,而是因为他犯的错而自咎,并且真心悔过。如果这样的惩罚,在适当的间隔试过几次,并且极端严厉地施行,同时父亲对他始终清楚地表示不高兴的样子,却仍旧不能奏效,不能改变他的心理,使他将来顺从;那么能期望鞭笞有什么用,多多地使用它们又能达到什么目的呢?鞭笞如果不能产生良好的影响,就更像出于一个暴怒的敌人的怒火,而不是出于一个有同情心的朋友的好意;这种惩罚只会惹恼小孩,没有一点改正的希望。假如一个父亲不幸有这样一个乖张固执、无可救药的儿子,我不知道父亲除了为儿子祈祷而外能做什么。不过,我觉得如果一开始就能正确运用对付小孩的方法,那么很少会遇到这种小孩;万一真有这种情形,也不能以此为例来教育那些本质较好、可以用更好的办法去管理的小孩。
摘自Some Thoughts Concerning Education (English-Chinese Edition)(ISBN-10: 1537479857)