《我思念垂柳》

人上了年纪，就常常思念过往。可是，我对垂柳的思念，不是因为上了几岁年纪，而是由于看不见垂柳了。

那曾是多么普通的垂柳。儿时的河边堤岸上，青年时大学校园里未名湖畔，一行行，一排排，到处都是，随处可见。每当春至夏来，青绿的枝条就那样潇潇洒洒地垂着，像极了绿色的帘子，随风摆动，郁郁葱葱，风姿绰约。我都不记得，曾经认真的正眼看过它们没有。

我东奔西走。突然有一天发现，我身边没有垂柳了。我在社区里走街串巷地寻找，却是再也没找到。让我不能忍受的是，我居住的地方根本就不生长垂柳。这个事实几乎让我绝望了。

直到这时，我开始抱怨自己，为什么流落在了一个没有垂柳的他乡。我曾想，垂柳是不是在几何时曾经也挽留过我，而我匆忙的身影没有在意它的留恋？

垂柳是没有错的。是我在所谓的追求中，不知不觉中，离弃了垂柳，那一株株一片片、不知不觉中早已长在我心里、陪伴着我灵魂的绿色。

我思念垂柳。

——
二零二零年三月
于得克萨斯家中

Longing for weeping willows 

As one grows older, he or she is apt to feel nostalgic. I miss weeping willows having no business with my age, but because I can no longer see them. 

What a kind ordinary tree weeping willows once were. By the riverside of my hometown when I was a child, and on the bank of the Lake Unnamed on the college campus when I was young, they were in rows and rows, far and near, high and low, almost everywhere my eyes could reach out to. With spring and summer, their long and lush twigs were hanging down chicly and lightheartedly, like green curtains, swinging gracefully with the wind. I don't even remember if I had ever attentively looked at them. 

I tramped hither and thither, and from the east to the west of the global village. One day, I was suddenly aware that I have not seen weeping willows for a long time. I was driving through every street and to each cul-de-sac of the community to search for them, unfortunately did not catch sight of any. What made me unendurable was I was told that no weeping willows can live in the place where I stay. This fact dropped me into the abyss of despair in that moment.

Until then, I began to blame myself for having resided in a land without weeping willows. I wonder if the weeping willows could had lingered on holding me back sometime or somewhere but the guy in a rush did not notice their unwillingness to part. 

There was nothing wrong with the weeping willows. It was me being engaged in so-called pursuits, before I knew it, abandoned the weeping willows, the green field has been at the bottom of my heart and accompanied my soul ever since. 

I am missing the weeping willows.