溪边椰楼

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溪边椰楼: 写给八岁儿子的成长家书 - 要'整个',不要'一个'

(2013-08-31 21:27:22) 下一个
儿子,
  妈妈很高兴你对高尔夫球有这么大的兴趣和热情!暑假爸爸妈妈为你报名参加高球夏令营的时候,只是想让你运动一下,见识一下,顺便妈妈可以偷空工作一下(嘿嘿!)。
  虽然我不打高尔夫,可以前几次跟在你身后在度假村的迷你球场热身,我深信高尔夫球会令你这个年纪的孩子受益匪浅。自从你完成了这两个星期的正式培训,我不但更加深了这种想法,而且更明白为什么许多成功的商人和政界人士不惜把宝贵的时间花在高球场上。
  正因如此,每次你让我带你去 driving range 练球的时候我都很开心,想必你也一样。你打球,我坐在后面读书,静观或者发短信(工作需要)。
  练球的时候,你会冲着我说:“妈妈,看我,我给你打一个漂亮的好球。看着看着,别看其它地方。” 然后我就看着。一杆击出,你有时打得好,有时打得不很好。还有时候,当你挥杆打出100yards的时候,你会很兴奋地跑过来说,”妈妈妈妈,你刚才看到我打出去的那个好球了吗?” 这样的情形,每次练球的时候都发生,我时常对你的回答是,“妈妈不要看一个好球,妈妈要看你打出整个的好球!” 你也许觉得我的反响不够热烈吧!所以,儿子,妈妈想跟你讲一讲“一个”和“整个”的道理。
  在我们的生活中,无论大人还是孩子,几乎我们会做的一切事情都是学来的,不是天生的,就连怎样吃饭都是学来的,还记得你第一次用筷子夹面条的情形吗?学习的过程其实就是数量积累的过程,练得越多,技巧就越得到提高。我相信如果一个人想把一件事做好,提高的空间是无止境的,唯一的止境是我们给自己设立的高度。
  打高尔夫球是一个典型的例子。最初学习的时候,你的目标是打出一个球,并且姿势正确。当你掌握和习惯了正确的姿势,你的目标就是每一个打出去的,都是好球。你的终极目标,就是通过每一个好球,创造整个赛事的出色表现。我们中国人常说的:“瞄乎其上,得乎其中;瞄乎其中,得乎其下。” 就是这个道理。这跟英文里说的,"Aim at the moon and you reach the star; aim at the star and you reach nothing." 是一样的。
  所以,儿子,现在你应该明白,为什么你每次期望我为一个好球惊叹的时候,妈妈总是不置可否,因为我想要看到你的,不是打一个好球,而是未来打出整个一场绝佳的比赛。
  高尔夫球,就像其它所有的运动项目,生活技能和学习习惯一样,只有日积月累的练习和持续,不满足于一次的出色或成功,才能收获整体的成功。
  儿子,妈妈永远会是你最忠实的观众,如果我不为你的一个好球喝彩,请记得:那时因为妈妈坚信你有能力打出人生路上一场又一场的出色比赛。

爱你的,你高球场上和生命中最忠实的观众,
 
妈妈
2013年8月31日
 



 
August 31, 2013
 
 
 
Dear Ethan,
 
 
 
I am very happy to see you have so much interest in golf!  When we signed you up for the 2-week golf summer camp, all we hoped for was to open a door for you to explore another type of sports, and at the meantime, (selfishly) to give me several hours each day catching up work (haha!).

I don't play golf myself, but by following and observing you playing at various mini golf courses while on vacations, I truly believe golf could benefit kids your age greatly.  I believe more so after you have received some official training during these two weeks.  I now even understand more about why so many successful business people and politicians would spend several hours of their precious time playing golf.
 
 
 
That's why I am always happy to accompany you to the driving range.  I can tell you love it too!  When you are at practice, I normally sit behind you in the bench area reading a book, watching you or sending texts to clients.  Often you say to me, 'Mom, watch, I'll hit a good one.  Just watch me and don't look at anywhere else, okay?'.  So I watch.  Sometimes it is good, sometime it is not.  Then sometime you'd run over to me with excitements when you've had a really good hit over 100 yards, 'Did you see that? Did you did you, a really good one, Mom!'  Situations like this happen often at the driving range, I often respond to you by saying 'Don't show me A good hit, I'd like to see ALL good hits!'  Maybe you feel that my reactions are not enthusiastic enough, so I want to share with you about the difference between "A good hit" and 'ALL good hits'.
 
 
You see in life, almost all the things we are able to do, we do them through learning and practicing, nobody is born with these skills.  Do you still remember the first time you were able to eat noodles with chopsticks?  I see the process of learning as the process of repeated practicing, the more you practice, the better your skill improves.  And I believe anyone can do better in everything that we try to learn, there is no limit in how much better we can do, there is only limit in our mind that how much better we want ourselves to be!
 
 
Playing golf is just such a good example.   At the beginning stage, you want to focus on hitting the ball with the right body formations; then you move on to focus on hitting every ball nice and right.  Your ultimate goal is to perform ALL the good hits and deliver excellent performances at the games.  This is what we say, 'Aim at the moon and you reach the star; aim at the star and you reach nothing.'.  Chinese people have a very similar saying, 'Aim at the best and you reach par, aim at par you reach below average.'.
 
 
 
So Ethan, now you know why I wasn't as thrilled as you wanted when you have a good hit.  Because I expect to see you not having A good hit, but ALL good hits.  Golf, and all other sports, daily life skills and study habits, you reach excellence by not having 'A' good hit or one success, but 'ALL' good hits and consistency.
 
 
 
Ethan, I am and will always be your most loyal audience.  If you see I don't cheer for a good hit of yours, please remember, that's because I believe you will have all the more good hits!
 
 
 
Yours, forever loving and loyal audience in golf, and in life,
 
 
 
 
 
Mom
 
 
溪边椰楼2013年8月31日写于洛杉矶。
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