The Salesman and the Moose [1]

A story with 128 German words.

Franz Hohler [2]

Translated by xia23

Do you know the saying, “Sell a gasmask to a moose?” They say this about somebody, who is very skillful, and I would now like to tell you, how this saying comes about.

There was once a salesman, who was famous for being able to sell anything to anyone.

He had already sold a toothbrush to a dentist, a bread to a baker and a TV to a blind man.

“But you are a really good salesman”, his friend said to him, “until you first sell a gasmask to a moose.”

So the salesman went far to the North, until he came to a forest, where only the moose lived.

“Good morning”, he said to the first moose he met, “You definitely need a gasmask”.

“Why?” the moose said. “The air is good here.”

“Nowadays everyone has a gasmask”, said the salesman.

“I’m sorry”, the moose said, “but I don’t need one.”

“You just wait”, the salesman said, “you still need one.”

And a little later he began to build a factory in the middle of the forest, where only the moose lived.

“Are you crazy?” his friend asked.

“No”, he said, “I only want to sell a gasmask to the moose”

When the factory was built, so much hazardous fumes came out from the chimney, that the moose soon came to the salesman and said to him: “Now I need a gasmask”.

“That is what I thought too”, the salesman said and sold him one immediately, “Quality goods”, said to him cheerfully.

“The other moose”, said the moose, “also need gasmasks, do you have more now?” (Moose don’t now the polite form of You [3])

“That you are lucky”, said the salesman, “I still have thousands.”

“By the way”, the moose said, “what do you make in your factory?”

“Gasmasks”, the salesman said.

P.S. I don’t know exactly if it is a Swiss or Swedish saying, but these two countries were often confused.

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[1]. p. 6. Der Verkäufer und der Elch. Kontakt mit der Zeit. Dieter Stöpfgeshoff. Max Hueber Verlag. Germany, 1995.

[2]. Franz Hohler. 3/1/1943 -  . A Swiss author and cabaret artist.

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franz_Hohler

[3]. Sie in German is a polite or formal form of “you” in English, as you are in an official or important occasions or as you talk to a stranger or you talk to someone you are not familiar with. Du in German is another form of “you” in English, which is used when you talk to people you know well and your family members. Similar but not identical to Chinese 您 and 你.

The following paragraph is from Collins German-English Dictionary Unabridged. 5th Ed.