Baby Future for the Present Parents [1]

Heike Doutiné [2]

Translated by xia23

First it will, then it is, and then it should be it was again something. And if it has been something, then who is it again.

Why?

Yes, that is there. The “It-will-be-something” is coming.

Squeezed between food and future: the dynamic-babies, series 75/76!

Just a moment! Your child is already six months old and still can’t sit up? Then there will be time!

Wait a moment, your child is ten months old and still can’t walk?

But that will be time!   

Since it is there, there will really be time.

For this and that.

It must be a swimmer, a deep-sea diver in the non-swimmer pool, a child cream intellectual, going already in the primary school for porridge lessons at the age of one, in the sandbox middle school at the age of two. 

If it already were there, the child carriage examination: the dynamic parents would be there.

So a child can’t simply be, what one is oneself.

Soon it has been something, with arms, legs, small head there, it must become something.

Must become big and strong.

Must be more.

More than the classmate daddy in the mommy-school.

Work circle climber: we have been something after the war again. You become something after the second world peace.

Hurry up!

Don’t dawdle around in the playpen!

Become an advertising child at the age of two, become a mannequin at the age of three!

Support your parents!

Become a high-earner in the circle of low-earners!

Amount of small change to amount of big money: entrepreneur-twice-two.

Put on your Cacharel suits!

Walk on the catwalks!

Speak on TV in Sesame Street!

Become Big Bird or Ernie!

But stand around not as ordered and not as picked!

Let you pick!

Become something. Become someone!

The charter flights to the land of bills and coins always become cheaper.

And when you become cheaper than cheap, you will become more.  You will be worth more.

Be worth more.

A “It-will-be-something”.

Tell me how your child has managed to be discovered dead at the age of three!

Amazing, how has your boy managed to be abducted at the age of six?

Ours is probably abducted first at the age of seven and is discovered dead at the age of eight. And that in today’s tidal age, where one must live fast, everyone will live fast. Don’t you think if eight years is already too long?

Shouldn’t one be disappointed?

Our youngster was not abducted, but our oldest at least has been a soccer player. And his youngster should now be a player too.  As for a ball, he would have less chance. Who manages to get around? There is already a corner!  And the kids are also always aggressive.

One is not allowed to forget if one shouts “the next please”.

Hopefully, there will be something in nine months.

That he finds his parking space – in spite of a parking ban.

Quality children must assert themselves to hold on!

Erwin, guess it will be a girl or a boy. Or both. Doesn’t matter.  Double certainty binding!

But what if now everything will not be double, but triple?

First social, then socialistic, then socialist?

The self-service dining car breaks in the terminus?

What will become of our crawling children?

It will be fun, to be child leader of brigade 3.

It will be fun.

It will be beautiful to work for your place in my place.

It will be. The main thing is that it will continue. That is the most important.

There is enough Child’s oil. Pour it on, and the machine runs.

It will not be too late for the deep-sea diver in the non-swimmer pool.

What, six months old and yet not socialistic?

That will be time!

Hurry up!

Don’t dawdle in the playpen!

Become Ernie Guevara [3]!

Become Big Castro [4]!

Become somebody!

Then an old German proverb says:

Those who don’t have anything will be landlords.

And that is not what you want?

Or that would be something:  an expected worth?

First you will be, then you are, and then something should become of you. And when something has become of you, then you are someone again.

You are allowed to become less again.

Must become small and weak.

Hurry up!

Don’t dawdle!

Let you pick!                                                       

[1]. p. 87. Baby-Futur für Gegenwartseltern. Kontakt mit der Zeit. Dieter Stöpfgeshoff. Max Hueber Verlag. Germany, 1995.

[2]. Heike Doutiné. 8/3/1945 - . A German writer. https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heike_Doutin%C3%A9

[3]. Ernie Guevara. Don’t know if the author meant Ernesto “Chen” Guevara. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Che_Guevara

[4]. Big Castro. Don’t know if the author meant Fidel Castro. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fidel_Castro