New York Week [1]
Jurek Becker
Translated by xia23
Day seven
You come to a new city: you have heard a lot of about it before, you head is full of judgements you have brought with you. You find out, that each of your prejudice can be verified, actually without much effort, there is something to each one of them. You collect your observations as proof. You want to show to yourself, how good you already knew the city before you arrive there. You succeed in doing it. The result is a lost week, which could have been something else.
On the last bus, you ask me how you walk through the streets, with a checklist and a pencil in your hands to check off: correct, poverty; correct, racial problem; correct, crime. An impeccable boring series of headings. Why do you ask yourself this, have you been constantly struggling for what has already been proven? Who assign you to this deadly boring job? Your conscience? Laughable, you come here with a solid intention, not just to look at the surface, and the result is: you see nothing at all.
Now you are annoyed, that you did not get lost for a second in this exciting city. That you never let yourself miss, even though there were so many opportunities. You did not miss any opportunities. Every time you accelerate your step, just slip away. Without think it over, have you thought: where this will lead? And you ask yourself where this should bring? In the boring moments, you keep your eyes open. You just now want to see what all already know, and never what no one knows.
Suddenly you fear that your skill is excited. Imagine that someone is constantly on guard against the unexpected. The one who calculate everything in advance, and then try to live so the calculation made beforehand is correct. Maybe I come back once more to New York, that will be good. For now, I’m taking the bus to La Guardia Airport.
I have a window seat and I close my eyes as soon as I see darkness, neglected streets, police officers, brightness, ads boards, traffic chaos.
[1]. p. 379. New York Woche. Stationen. Ein Kursbuch für die Mittelstufe. 3rd Edition. Prisca Augustyn & Nikolaus Euba. Cengage Learning. USA. 2015
