婚姻篇（3）

婚姻：梳妆柜上女人的头发套和男人的老花镜缠在一起。（这才是真爱呢！）
Marriage: a woman’s hair net tangled in a man’s spectacles on top of the bedroom dresser.

婚姻：开头和结尾都挺棒的。中间部分活见鬼。
Marriage: The beginning and end are wonderful. The middle part is hell.

所有婚姻都是幸福的。只是婚后一起生活才有麻烦。
All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterwards that causes the trouble.

如果你想牺牲众多男人的崇拜换来一个男人的吹毛求疵，就去结婚吧。
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead and get married.

男人吃到的最危险的食品是结婚蛋糕。（这种食物容易引起过敏。）
The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake.

现如今，女孩子婚前不干的事就是做饭。（该做的不会做。不该做的却经验老到。）
The only premarital thing girls don’t do these days is cooking.

许多男人因喜欢一个酒窝就娶回整个女孩，遂铸成大错。（就象为了喝牛奶而养一条牛一样.）
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

当你的老婆把结婚戒指戴在中指上的时候，你就知道你们的婚姻出现麻烦了。
You know your marriage is in trouble when your wife start wearing the wedding ring on her middle finger.

他老婆甩掉205磅赘肉------她和他离了婚。甩掉包袱轻装上阵。
His wife got rid of 205 pounds of ugly fat-------she divorced him.

我结婚太多次了，现在结婚证上姓名栏上写的是：有关人士。（省得以后老要领结婚证。）
I have been married for so many times my marriage certificate now reads: “To Whom It May Concern.”

对一些男人来说，结婚就像下馆子。你点的菜如法炮制端上来了，但你一看到邻座上的菜，你寻思刚才应该点这些才是。（老婆是别人的好。出处在此。）
To some men marriage is a bit like being in a restaurant. You get exactly what you asked for------but as soon as you see what the fellow on the next table has got you wish you had ordered that instead.

以前，女孩子结婚是为了钱。现在，她们离婚的原因也一样。（法律太偏袒女人了吧？）
In the old days, a girl married a guy for his money. Now, she divorces him for the same reason.