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做你的红颜好吗?(zt and revised)

(2006-11-12 17:39:04) 下一个
人的感情生活,除去与生俱来的亲情外,爱情和友情就像鸟儿的双翅,使人的情感能够得以飞翔和丰富多采。在这个喧嚣、浮躁的社会,站在情感的边缘地带,我深思着该以怎样的身份出现在你身边。

  “无论你将来是成功还是失败,我永远都会为你捧场。”不知谁说过,在这个世界上,男人最需要的除了一个老婆之外,还有一个红颜知己。就让我做你永远的红颜知己。我能懂你,你的一个眼神,一个动作,甚至一声叹息;你也懂我,我的一句轻语,一缕柔情,甚至一份心事。我们彼此欣赏,彼此渴慕,我们彼此的关注渗入心灵深处。

  尽管如此,我不会放纵我的感情,我会用情感的温度计把握着我们之间的“度”,因为,我只愿做你永远的红颜知己。

  我不做你的妻子,不必承担相夫教子的重任,也不会象与你朝夕相伴,同床共枕的人那样在你面前絮絮叨叨说个没完。我不会让你感到我爱上你的威胁和担忧,也不会给予你爱上我的误解和激情,在这个“情人”风靡全球的时期,我也不做你的情人, 不会在你面前顿足撒娇无理取闹。只想与你无拘无束,推心置腹的诉说彼此的故事,畅谈彼此的理想和对人生的追求。

  是谁曾感叹“人生得一知己足矣”?又是谁在高唱“士为知己者死”?“山青青,水碧碧,高山流水……人生难得一知音,……”在情感世界里,我愿做你永远的红颜知己。如果你是蓝天,太阳是妻子,月亮是情人,星星是知已,我愿做点缀你生活的星星,虽然平凡,但是灿烂而又长久。也许我不是你的天空中最亮的那颗星星,但是,我会守着一份永恒,给你夜夜清辉,我会以我的兰心蕙质,温婉可人,穿过生活的喧嚣,走进你的心灵。

  我愿做你忠实的倾听者,在你悲伤难过时,在你遭遇逆境时,陪你把盏共饮,用我纤巧的手轻抚你眼中的潮汐,用我的温柔给你最大的抚慰;我会在你取得成功时,悄悄微笑着从你身边走开,心里默默祝福你再接再厉。

  有人说,红颜知己是成年人的童话。就让岁月为我们的从容作证,为我们磊落的笑声作证,为我们宁静的心境作证,让我们将这份纤尘不染的情感延续,共同完成一个现实生活中成年人的童话。

  在这个喧嚣、浮躁的社会,纵然步履匆匆,能让我带着你的笑容,走过生命的每一个日子,是我最大的快乐和满足。所以,此生,让我做你永远的红颜知己。

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双方都有襟胸,才能做成红颜蓝颜知己。
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望月明 回复 悄悄话 知己难求,更况红颜.胸襟才是内涵的体现.
真庸 回复 悄悄话 梦想总是最美好的...
melly 回复 悄悄话 谢谢天寺姑娘来访。问题够尖锐的。:)

我相信男女之间有很好的友谊,但是做成红颜蓝颜的绝对是凤毛麟角。文章中也说了,是成年人的梦,是童话,并不真实。现实生活中更多的是异性好朋友。但是我不认为红颜知己的存在构成了一个三人世界,夫妻之间不是100% 重合的两个圆,而是大部分重合的两个圆,各自应该有各自的空间。人无完人,谁也阻挡不了人们去欣赏婚姻以外的人。如果老公的女性朋友甚至红颜知己可以帮助他认识女性,认识婚姻,那也未必不是一件好事。重要的是有和做红颜知己的目的是什么,程度如何。所以说要有胸襟,有智慧,有距离,多付出,少索取。 :)我也只是纸上谈兵,还没有修练到什么人想要我做红颜知己的程度。 :)但是被美文感动一把,做做梦也不错。

天寺姑娘的博客是我每天必看的几个之一,非常美。
天寺 回复 悄悄话 melly:

如果你的老公或者爱人也这样有个红颜知己,你能接受吗?你愿意做你老公的太阳,而她是你老公的星星,她和你分享你们的精神世界。如果你可以,你的胸襟让我佩服!

我一直觉得男女之间是没有红颜存在的,有也是处于月亮那个位置。
我也胡说八道,欢迎指正,文笔很娟秀,我很喜欢!
melly 回复 悄悄话 One of my friends comments.

Both marriage and soul mate are basically the same. When dating, one wants to get married. After getting married, one needs a soul mate. Soul mate does not need to match everything. Only a piece of soul is enough. It may last very long or forever. Regardless they meet or not. They can be online, pen pal or real life friends. Online is just one of the forms. Unfortunately, most people happen to have empty spots in their hearts. That's reality. One needs something to fill up the vacancy's in their hearts. People like adventures. It satisfies them. This is a constant struggle deep in one's heart.
melly 回复 悄悄话 Helen,

You are such a sweet girl! No, you didn’t offend me at all. I wish you could see me smiling while writing. I was kidding by stating I am a bad woman. Actually, I hope I am a little bit bad somehow. You know what? Bad women, like bad men, are much popular nowadays. Lol

Alright, no more kidding. I love your concept of hold faith in marriage. Marriage is a life-long business. One can not enjoy the marriage without strong faith. Marriage, like everything else, goes up and down now and then, except 7-year itch. I despise those who rashly divorces once the marriage goes down. Healthy friendship will help to build up good marriage.

Neither being friend with married males nor single males are safe. With married males, one could worry about marriage. With single males, don’t you worry if the guy would love you to death while you are married? :) No matter being with whom, married or single, clear head and big heart are needed. No wonder few male or female could really be soul mates for each other. Once we find what we like, the first response is to possess it. We are all human beings, greedy. Sigh.

Life is so interesting because of these paradoxes, conflicts such as marriage and friendship between man and woman. Let’s deal with them wisely.:)
blhw72 回复 悄悄话 Sweetheart, if anything I said leads you to a point that it seems you are a bad woman, I apologize. I didn't intend to offend you.

Marriage relationship certainly wouldn't be able to meet all our satisfaction in spirituality. Thus we have friends, parents, siblings, children...... I would accept sexual relationship with a good friend with a condition that both of us are neither married nor involve in any serious relationship. As of one-night stand, it's personal choice, so long as people are aware of STDs.

I do believe there are true feelings occured between two married people or one married while the other not. I fully understand how they feel. I may sound negtive due to my previous personal experience in relationship. I don't appreciate and encourage being a married man's soulmate if he doesn't wanna get out of the marriage. Simply I still would like to hold my faith in marriage.

However, a woman and a man could really be good friends. Like what you said, they are always aware of not crossing the line improperly.

A thought, before a man and a woman get married, they should try to be friends first.
melly 回复 悄悄话 Helen,

Don’t I think it is a game? Well, I think it depends on if the man and the woman cross the line. Love affair and one night-stand sometimes happening between friends are usually disguised with friendship. They may end either the friendship or the marriage. Keeping distance and being yourself are always basic rules in every relationship, especially friendship between a man and a woman.

Do I believe in pure Plato friendship? I used to, not now. Physical, even sexual attraction is everywhere. (In this case, you are extremely vulnerable.:)) Personally, I do believe having male friends will benefit us based on my experiences. Undoubtedly, a husband matches most of a woman’s need, but not all. Friends will meet the others. Soulmate, to me, is a tricky word. It is hard to define. I may not have any soulmate so far. In fact, simple friendship is good enough for me. Speaking of being a married male’s friend, well, I guess it is much easier because married people share similar topics.

I may be stupid and impossible, not because I am trying to find a married man as my soulmate but because I can’t stop believing beautiful things and being touched at the same time even if they are not realistic. However, keeping in mind the line and the limitation would be a good way to avoid trouble.

Hey, online friends may be safer as long as never trying to be offline. :)

Seems I am a bad woman. :)
blhw72 回复 悄悄话 Melly,

Don't you think it is a game? It might bring some spice into life with a good friendship title. As well as subtly pushes both the man and the woman to the edge.

Do you believe a pure plato friendship between a woman and a man? I do believe any relationship is unable to develop with skipping physical attraction, which doesn't have to be sexual.

My best friend is an American male. While my hubby has a very good female friend -- an attractive American woman, his personal trainer. I am not indicating that both hubby and I are trying to jeopardize the marriage. However, I do admit it is a sensitive spot. That's why we both are carefully handling the friendship with open minds.

I would say, a married man wants an intimate female soulmate rather than his wife, that's selfishness. A woman is dreaming of being a married man's soulmate, that's stupidness. I am sorry to say that I don't see any beauty but pain and trouble.

They do not know "let it go" and "move on". As I said: "the door closed, another opened."
melly 回复 悄悄话 Helen,

You brought on good points.

Human nature is multifaceted. So is emotion. I wish our spouses are our soulmates too. But most of the time, this is only our beautiful dream. One of the reason is the distance. It is easy for us to see something much more beautiful from a distance. Again, this is human nature, whatever we like it or not.

Actually, being an intimate female friend, like in this essay, is an excuse when her love could not be accepted. It is not practical, only like a fairtale indeed. It would not last long,because love is intimate.

Love is multifaceted too. Smart women will enjoy love from both family and friendship in simple, plain life.

Melly
blhw72 回复 悄悄话 Melly, why could the man's wife not be his best female friend? Instead, another woman intrudes in to construct a 3-person relationship frame? If the woman never crosses the line of just being a good friend, nothing wrong is about it. However, not vice verse.

Admittedly, we are all human beings. Feelings are something beyound our ration. Then I start to have a question, why we need marriage. It seems like marriage is not the destination of our love path.

Helen
melly 回复 悄悄话 我喜欢做白日梦,粉色的。:)谢谢您。
金重阳 回复 悄悄话 melly :您好!想不到我回是第一个读者,好文章,理想主义,成年人的童话,恐怕经不起岁月的考验,男女之间要距离的。
胡说八道,请凉鉴。
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