MANNERS | Manners, as they call it, about which children are so often perplexed, and have so many goodly exhortations made them by their wise maids and governesses, I think, are rather to be learnt by example than rules; and then children, if kept out of ill company, will take a pride to behave themselves prettily, after the fashion of others, perceiving themselves esteemed and commended for it. But if by a little negligence in this part, the boy should not pull off his hat, nor make legs very gracefully, a dancing-master will cure that defect, and wipe off all that plainness of nature, which the a-la-mode people call clownishness. And since nothing appears to me to give children so much becoming confidence and behaviour, and so to raise them to the conversation of those above their age, as dancing, I think they should be taught to dance as soon as they are capable of learning it. For though this consist only in outward gracefulness of motion, yet, I know not how, it gives children manly thoughts and carriage, more than any thing. But otherwise, I would not have little children much tormented about punctilio's or niceties of breeding.

礼貌 |  所谓礼貌，孩子们往往弄不清楚，聪明的女仆和女教师又常常给他们许多的好意劝告，我觉得礼貌应该通过榜样而不是规矩来学习的；孩子若是不与坏伙伴为伍，以自己行为优美为骄傲，就会跟随别人的榜样，好让他们自己得到别人的尊敬与赞扬。假若稍微没有留心，孩子没有脱帽、或腿摆得不够优雅，跳舞的教师可以改正这缺陷，他可以除去天性中的俗气，也就是时髦人士所称的滑稽小丑相。我觉得跳舞最能使小孩具有适当的自信心与举止，使他们能和年长的人交际，所以我主张他们到了能学跳舞的年龄，就应当尽快教他们学习跳舞。因为跳舞虽然只是一种外在动作的优美，但不知道为什么，它给予孩子的男子汉思想与举止，却比任何东西都强。除此以外，我不主张让幼小的孩子因为教养上的细节与精确多吃苦头。

Never trouble your self about those faults in them, which you know age will cure: and therefore want of well-fashioned civility in the carriage, whilst civility is not wanting in the mind, (for there you must take care to plant it early) should be the parents' least care, whilst they are young. If his tender mind be filled with a veneration for his parents and teachers, which consists of love and esteem, and a fear to offend them: and with respect and good will to all people; that respect will of itself teach those ways of expressing it, which he observes most acceptable. Be sure to keep up in him the principles of good nature and kindness; make them as habitual as you can, by credit and commendation, and the good things accompanying that state: and when they have taken root in his mind, and are settled there by a continued practice, fear not, the ornaments of conversation, and the outside of fashionable manners, will come in their due time: if when they are removed out of their maid's care, they are put into the hands of a well-bred man to be their governor.

不必担忧小孩身上能被年岁改正的缺点：因此，当小孩年幼的时候，只要小孩心中有礼貌 (那是你应该及早培植的)，举止上欠缺合乎风尚的礼仪的地方，父母可以少操心。假如他幼稚的心里饱含对父母师长的敬爱，对他们又爱又敬重，害怕冒犯他们；同时也尊重其他所有的人，对他们怀抱善意；那尊敬的心思本身可以教他用他观察到最适宜的方式来表达。你要注意让他保持善良温和的原则；你要竭力利用名誉、赞扬、以及随其而来的美好事物，使他们把那原则养成习惯；一旦这种原则在他的心中生根，又经过不断的练习在他的心中确立起来，你就不用怕，交谈中的修饰与外在的时髦礼仪，到时候自然就会了；只要小孩脱离女仆的照看，得到具有良好教养的男子来做他们的导师。

Whilst they are very young, any carelessness is to be borne with in children, that carries not with it the marks of pride or ill nature; but those, whenever they appear in any action, are to be corrected immediately by the ways above-mentioned. What I have said concerning manners, I would not have so understood, as if I meant that those who have the judgment to do it, should not gently fashion the motions and carriage of children, when they are very young. It would be of great advantage, if they had people about them from their being first able to go, that had the skill, and would take the right way to do it. That which I complain of, is the wrong course that is usually taken in this matter. Children, who were never taught any such thing as behaviour, are often (especially when strangers are present) chid for having some way or other failed in good manners, and have thereupon reproofs and precepts heaped upon them, concerning putting off their hats, or making of legs, etc. Though in this, those concerned pretend to correct the child, yet in truth, for the most part, it is but to cover their own shame; and they lay the blame on the poor little ones, sometimes passionately enough, to divert it from themselves, for fear the by-standers should impute to their want of care and skill the child's ill behaviour.

当孩子很小的时候，他们任何无心的过失都是可以宽容的，只要它不带有骄傲或不良天性的痕迹；但是任何时候他们的行为表现出这样的痕迹，就要立刻用以上所说的方法纠正。我讲到礼仪，意思并不是说，那些明白怎样做的人，也不应在小孩年幼的时候去逐渐陶冶他们的动作和举止。如果从小孩会走路时就有有技巧的人用正确的方法去陶冶他们，那是一件很好的事。我所不满意的是在这件事情通常所用的错误方法。孩子的行为从来没有人教过，可是一有什么礼仪不周的时候， (尤其是有陌生人在场的时候)他们就常常被训斥，而且关于脱帽或摆腿的责备与教训也就堆了上来。虽然那些人假装是纠正小孩，事实上多数只是遮掩他们本身的耻辱；他们为了自己不受责备，有时激动地怪罪可怜的小孩，因为他们害怕旁观者会将其归咎于他们对小孩缺乏照顾以及没有技巧纠正小孩的不良行为。

For, as for the children themselves, they are never one jot bettered by such occasional lectures. They at other times should be shewn what to do, and by reiterated actions be fashioned beforehand into the practice of what is fit and becoming, and not told and talked to do upon the spot, of what they have never been accustomed nor know how to do as they should. To hare and rate them thus at every turn, is not to teach them, but to vex and torment them to no purpose. They should be let alone, rather than chid for a fault which is none of theirs, nor is in their power to mend for speaking to. And it were much better their natural childish negligence or plainness should be left to the care of riper years, than that they should frequently have rebukes misplaced upon them, which neither do nor can give them graceful motions. If their minds are well-disposed, and principled with inward civility, a great part of the roughness which sticks to the outside for want of better teaching, time and observation will rub off, as they grow up, if they are bred in good company; but if in ill, all the rules in the world, all the correction imaginable, will not be able to polish them. For you must take this for a certain truth, that let them have what instructions you will, and ever so learned lectures of breeding daily inculcated into them, that which will most influence their carriage will be the company they converse with, and the fashion of those about them. Children (nay, and men too) do most by example. We are all a sort of camelions, that still take a tincture from things near us; nor is it to be wondered at in children, who better understand what they see than what they hear.

因为对于小孩本身来说，这种偶尔的说教从来是没有一点好处的。应当演示给他们做什么，而且还要事先反复练习使他们能够实践合适的方法，不能够从不习惯，也不知道他们应当怎样做，却临时告诉他们去做。这种动辄就测试与评判他们的做法，不是教育他们，而是无端使他们受烦扰与折磨。不要因为一个不是他们本身的、也不是他们能力可改变的过错去呵斥他们，他们应该不受打扰。他们天性中幼稚的疏忽大意或者浅薄应该留给年岁的成熟来关照，不必时时无故加以呵责，因为呵责不会也不能使他们养成优雅的动作。如果他们的心灵是和善的，有着内在的礼貌原则，虽然因缺乏良好的教育而导致他们外在的粗鲁，只要他们是在良好的伙伴中教养成长的，很大一部分的粗鲁，当他们长大，会随时间与观察而擦抹掉的；但是如果是与坏伙伴在一起，那么你就是用尽世上一切的规矩，使尽一切想象得到的纠正方法，还是不能改善他们的。因为你应该知道这个真理：尽管你给予孩子各种教导，也天天告诉他们与教养相关的教训，最影响他们举止的是，他们交往的伙伴和他们周围的人的时尚。小孩 (不,成人也是一样)的举止大都是模仿来的。我们都象是一种变色龙，受周围东西的浸染；所以怪不得小孩会更明白他们看见的，而不是他们被教导的。

摘自Some Thoughts Concerning Education (English-Chinese Edition)(ISBN-10: 1537479857)