Not to meant to judge you, as this is not just about you. But I just learned a new phrase called "scarcity mentality vs abundance mentality".
Many people have a scarcity mentality. They cling to their possessions and relationships, fearing that they couldn’t get it back if they lost it. They’re emotionally stingy, only sharing their kindness, generosity and love when it’s clear they’ll get at least as much in return, not realizing that the more of these you give, the more you get. The scarcity mentality leads to a guardedness that robs them of much of the richness of life.
离婚心路2015-02-11 12:31:44回复悄悄话
回复 'xiaorib' 的评论 : Sun has life too. Its energy will burn out someday without getting it from others. As a person, our energy is much more limited. You can certainly love someone without feedback for a long time. But it has limit. Love spent on a wrong subject without appreciation is a waste. In your limited life span, do you want to spend your life in a loveless world and still be able to give love? Do not think too high of a human being. Nobody is a Jesus.
It is thought a disgrace to love unrequited. But the great will see that true love cannot be unrequited. True love transcends the unworthy object, and dwells and broods on the eternal, and when the poor interposed mask crumbles, it is not sad, but feels rid of so much earth, and feels its independency the surer. (R. W. Emerson)
Is it possible to carry love on one side, without due correspondence on the other? Why should one cumber himself with regrets that the receiver is not capacious? It never troubles the sun that some of his rays fall wide and vain into ungrateful space, and only a small part on the reflecting planet. If you have love, let you greatness shine.
You will find your love.
离婚心路2015-02-10 21:55:20回复悄悄话
回复 '草之书' 的评论 : Love should make you grow. If it means "giving more than getting", then you will loose more and more, and eventually have nothing to give.
Love makes you to give voluntarily. Because it is voluntarily, you can replenish yourself automatically. In this sense,love makes you to be capable to give more.
But for yourself, love makes you get more than you lost. Therefore, love make you feel "getting more than giving".
If you think yourself "giving more than getting, ", you are not in a love relationship.
草之书2015-02-10 07:33:13回复悄悄话
"To love" is easy to say but hard to do. To love your partner in marriage sometimes means to adjust your expectation totally. My experience told me if there is no forgiveness, sacrifice and patience in love, love can not last in any form or with anybody, that's the hard part. So I agree with Icegene, love mean giving more than getting.
Not to meant to judge you, as this is not just about you. But I just learned a new phrase called "scarcity mentality vs abundance mentality".
Many people have a scarcity mentality. They cling to their possessions and relationships, fearing that they couldn’t get it back if they lost it. They’re emotionally stingy, only sharing their kindness, generosity and love when it’s clear they’ll get at least as much in return, not realizing that the more of these you give, the more you get. The scarcity mentality leads to a guardedness that robs them of much of the richness of life.
It is thought a disgrace to love unrequited. But the great will see that true love cannot be unrequited. True love transcends the unworthy object, and dwells and broods on the eternal, and when the poor interposed mask crumbles, it is not sad, but feels rid of so much earth, and feels its independency the surer. (R. W. Emerson)
Is it possible to carry love on one side, without due correspondence on the other? Why should one cumber himself with regrets that the receiver is not capacious? It never troubles the sun that some of his rays fall wide and vain into ungrateful space, and only a small part on the reflecting planet. If you have love, let you greatness shine.
You will find your love.
Love makes you to give voluntarily. Because it is voluntarily, you can replenish yourself automatically. In this sense,love makes you to be capable to give more.
But for yourself, love makes you get more than you lost. Therefore, love make you feel "getting more than giving".
If you think yourself "giving more than getting, ", you are not in a love relationship.
爱包含了宽恕，因为爱有不舍，有同情。
爱不包含牺牲，因为甘心情愿就不感到牺牲，也因为爱的对象是自己的一部分，自己对自己谈不上牺牲。
爱不包含忍耐，如果需要忍耐，那是因为你爱错了对象。