1. Doctor: "I have some bad news and some worse news. The bad news is that you have only 24 hours left to live." Patient: "That is bad news. What could be worse?"

Doctor: "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."

医生：“我有一些坏消息，还有一些更坏的消息。坏消息是你只剩下24小时的生命了。” 病人：“那是个坏消息。还有什么比这更糟的吗？”

医生：“从昨天开始我就一直在联系你。”

2. My son, Scott, an insurance broker in Florida, loves ocean fishing and takes his cell phone along on the boat. One morning we were drifting about ten miles offshore as Scott discussed business on the phone. Suddenly his rod bent double, and the reel screamed as line poured off the spool.

Scott was master of the situation. “Pardon me,” he told his customer calmly.

“I have a call on another line.”

我的儿子 Scott 是佛罗里达州的一名保险经纪人，他喜欢远洋钓鱼，并在船上随身携带他的手机。 一天早上，斯科特在电话中讨论业务时，我们正在离岸大约 10 英里处漂流。 突然，他的钓竿弯曲了两倍，随着线从线轴上倾泻而下，卷轴发出尖叫声。

斯科特是处理这种情况的高人。 “对不起，”他平静地告诉他的顾客。

“我在另一条线上有电话。”

3. Telephone solicitors are one of my father’s pet peeves. He is especially annoyed by those who offer “free gifts” as part of their sales pitch. Late one night, Dad was in bed when the phone rang.

The voice on the end of the line said: “Congratulations, you’ve just won a free burial plot!”

“Great!” Dad replied. “Send it over.” Then he hung up.

电话推销员是我父亲的烦恼。他特别对那些在推销中提供“免费礼物”的人感到恼火。 有一天深夜，电话响的时候，爸爸正在床上。

电话那头的声音说：“恭喜你，你刚刚赢得了免费墓地！”

“很好！” 爸爸回答。 “送过来。” 然后他挂断了。

4. Trying to explain to our five-year-old daughter how much computers had changed, my husband pointed to our brand-new

personal computer and told her that when he was in college, a computer with the same amount of power would have been the size of a house.

Wide-eyed, our daughter asked, “How big was the mouse?”

我丈夫试图向我们五岁的女儿解释电脑发生了多大变化，我丈夫指着我们全新的

个人电脑，并告诉她，当他上大学时，一台具有相同功能的电脑将有一个房子那么大。

女儿睁大眼睛问道：“那鼠标器有多大呢？”

5. My husband was bending over to tie my three-year-old’s shoes. That’s when I noticed my son, Ben, staring at my husband’s head.

  He gently touched the slightly thinning spot of hair and said in a concerned voice, “Daddy, you have a hole in your head. Does it hurt?”

  After a pause, I heard my husband’s murmured reply: “Not physically.”

我丈夫正弯腰为我三岁的孩子系鞋带。 就在那时，我注意到我的儿子本正盯着我丈夫的头。

   他轻轻摸了摸那微微稀疏的头发，关切地说道：“爹地，你脑袋上有个洞。 疼吗？”

   顿了顿，我听到丈夫低声回答：“不是身体上的。”