What a day!

Today is really a hard day for me! Got up quite early in the morning and headed to university. Met with graduate program coordinator and talked about my course selection. Without saying too much, she refused me to select the web course which she mentioned it was not related to my research subjects. She recommended me to select the available courses in sociology department and strongly recommended me to select the course which would be taught in the evening from 6:30 to 9:30. Thinking about to take an evening course is a nightmare. Just image the heavy snow, cold weather, low temperature, and the never timely bus transits. The worse situation this term for me is that I live quite far away from university and need to transfer transits to arrive in school. However, this was just the first shock of today!

Then came the second shock! I was told I would not get more financial supports both from the graduate school and department. I was really disappointed about the result. While as people always says funding will be available for you, which made me to hold much hope on this. Brother said that I need to figure out the problem by myself because there is no more money from parents. The entire bad situation made to think about my decision of going aboard. Dated back to the time when I considered applying for visa. If I had known that without sufficient funding preparation I am going to meet such obstacles, would I still insist to coming to Canada? The answer would be a big NO. Changing another words, if I had known that my coming to Canada accelerated the broken up between I and Kevin, I think I maybe will come here and face all happening. Using this logic, I felt really bad about myself and my emotional attitude towards my own life.

However, the worst part is that my decision made my family experienced the same sufferings as I did. They worried about me, although they totally know nothing about my love affair. Only thinking about the financial problems now I am facing, that would make them worry about. What’s more, my bad feeling even made the dearest John to comfort me.

Am I a loser?

I know life is never easy. But maybe what happened today was just to reminder me what a big mistaken I had made! Aboard studying were just a mistaken and an unhappy ending!