好久没有写BLOG，看到一些留言，深受感动，竟然有人惦记我，很惶恐。因为一直很忙，不自主的把写日记的习惯放下了，今天重新想了一下，写日记是个好习惯，应该继续，而且这样一个‘混乱’的时代，留下一些当时的想法和记录，也算我见证过历史。

地震，海啸，核辐射，3个出现频率最高的词，在每一天的媒体报道中和网络言论混战中。对于我来说，似乎意义不大。地震，那天我经过了，恐惧，也感受过了，人还活着，觉得真好，更加无比热爱生活。海啸很远，在电视上看到，重新考虑自己将来要住在海边的打算。核辐射，似乎没有感觉，每天打开电视都是专家们在反反复复讨论各种可能性，各种媒体都在散布恐慌情绪，然后呢？不吃不喝，逃到火星去？我不是核工业专家，与其自己给自己制造恐慌情绪，我宁愿相信专业人士会尽力做好他们的工作。在我的issue list里，排在前三位的是，current project, diet, kevin.

Current project... I even have no idea where to start, its way too frustrating. Not in a mood to talk about it, but I do really expect a big promotion and pay raise next year, for all the effort and extra hours.

Diet, oh... man, its painful! 也不知道前一阵我的食欲为什么那么好，再加上从圣诞节到新年一直不停的drink nights, 我的体重直线上升。本来我打算完全无视这种状况，但月初的时候回国见到父母，竟然连他们都说我‘肉好像多了点儿’，我老爸的原话。实在打击太大，痛下决心，减肥。非常胖的人减肥很容易见效，但我离非常胖还有很大的距离，只是一些extra weight, 不是很容易见效，很打击我的积极性。每天去公司gym跑上5公里，加上weightlifting, 还要控制饮食，需要很大的自制力。核辐射，要几年几十年才会知道有没有影响，但extra weight, 只要1-2个月天气转暖，立即看得出！Thats my motivation, so will work hard on it.

Kevin... What can I say? 地震那天，我当时想，如果这么死了，真是不甘心，didnt get chance to kick his ass yet, lol... 当天他给我发msgs，问我情况如何，有没有危险，我说，’you worried about me?’‘Of course!’他答，我真的觉得有些意外，很多时候我不明白他在想什么。Sometimes it might be easier that if he doesnt care at all, then I could give up completely before we drag each other down to the same trial again. I think I probably love him, but just cos of that, I cant do or say anything, isnt it strange? I dont know... Let it be whatever it is.

Anyway, I got a bit stress recently, earthquake, radiation, work, personal life... whatever. So for golden week holiday, I decide to go to east coast for some random trips. The sweetest guy F, who is living in D.C. now, generously offers his guestroom to me, so I booked the flight ticket already. It might be fun, lol.

Other than that, I think I wanna move, but too lazy to look around for a new apartment. Too many things going on, we will see.