Mother's Day  5/8/2011

My Mother's Day starts sweet.  While I was still in bed, Tao hopped to my room and showed me a card he made in school.  Beautifully decorated with Spring flowers and colorful hearts drawn, it was written "Happy Mother's Day!  I love  you mom.  You cook food I love."  His penmanship improves significantly.  I couldn't believe that was really written by my 6 years old boy.  The words also surprised me as I had never been a good cook.  I felt the happiest moment of being a mom. 

Thanks to Tao and his dad, I was able to sleep a little bit more that morning.  Before breakfast, I returned a call from mom of Owen, one of Tao's playmates.  Soon I  invited Owen to come for a play date this afternoon.  It was a delight to see Tao play with other kids so he wouldn't always play computer or watch TV.  Long screentime hurts his eyes.  Since I had been nearsighted since young I knew exactly how frustrated it was to have a bad vision.  I had been worried about Tao's eyes ever since he started to watch screen.  And he just loved screen, any screen.  Most his playmates could play with him without thinking of screentime, but Owen and Tao played computer several times during play dates, that made me now plan less playdates for them.  I thought it would be different since this time it would be at my house.  I was wrong. 

Tao got very excited for this news.  He set up the toys in the basement and frequently asked me "how many more minutes will Owen come".  Here they were!  Eating lunch at the table and talking and laughing. Soon they went down to the basement to play.  Then I realized there was a problem with our basement carpet, which was fluffy and didn't let the cars go smoothly.  But kids can play whatever at their hands, especially with Tao, who is a wonderfully imaginative child.  They started to play with the airplanes.

Lee and I finally could enjoy lunch alone without distractions.  During the middle of lunch, Lee went down to check the kids.  When he came back up, he told me the kids were playing computer and he turned off it.  I thought that was the end, but instead it was the beginning of trouble. 

Soon Tao and Owen went up to plea for playing computer for several times.  Being disapproved, they went down and Tao started to read all by himself.  Owen was sitting there idle.  Think back, it might be better for me to stay away and let them figure out themselves.  But raised with over politeness and consideration myself, I wasn't able to bear anything less.  I bent over to offer several options for them to play.  I was given the "NO and I want to play computer" answer. 

The worst started when Tao threatened me with his "I won't go to Chinese school" routine again.  Chinese school, soccer class had become his means to against me.  Only this didn't make me step back, instead, it made me mad.  I always looked down the kids who thought they studied or learned for their parents, ever since I was a child myself.  How could they not understand they learned for themselves?!  Things they learned would open a wider world for them, make life more fun and make them better people.  As for a mom, who drove him to and off the classes, who spent money on his lessons, what could be more hurtful than those "threats"?  I snapped back with "Fine, don't go then!"  Then I asked Owen if he wanted to play soccer with me outside.  Thinking Tao would join us later. 

I ended up babysitting Tao's playmate.  We played soccer in the back yard, Tao eventually went out but wouldn't join us.  I got tired and finally let Owen play cars outside.  Tao went back to read.  I tried to pursude him to take care of his friend again.  He went upstairs to his room.  We had a bad fight.  I even spanked him several times.  When I went down I couldn't keep my tears back and cried on Lee's shoulder.  Why is it so hard to raise a child?  Finally I calmed down with Lee's comforts.   Owen got bored quickly and asked me when his mom would pick him up.  I was so frustrated, I finally let Owen play computer.  Tao came down and said Sorry.  Not wanting more stress, I let them play together. 

Better than I expected, Tao went to Chinese class willingly and did well in his test. During his class time we went to a family cook and booked a meal next Sunday. I brought some pancakes for Tao. That’s one of his favorite foods. 

At night, Tao whined and cried about the computer again.  I was exhausted.  Lee had handled the whole situation.  We finally went up to bed.  My mother’s day ended with mixed feelings.