CHAPTER 1  POWER AND INFLUENCE

《权力的真谛：用尊重影响他人》第一章  权力与影响（一）

作者  Blaine Lee  译者  Justice

第一章  权力与影响

The measure of a man is what he does with power. ——Pittacus

衡量一个人，就看他拥有权力时的所作所为。——庇塔库斯

Power is not a new phenomenon. It forms the foundations of government, sociology, psychology, history, religion, and the many disciplines that study how people live and work together, influencing each other. It can be intriguing, because power can be surprisingly complex. It can be enticing, because power can be seductive. But it can also inspire and uplift and exalt, because power can be used to help people accomplish marvelous things.

权力，并非什么新鲜事物。它构成政治学、社会学、心理学、历史学、宗教学以及研究人们共同工作、生活时是如何相互影响的诸多学科的基础。权力令人好奇，因为它极其复杂；权力令人着迷，因为它充满诱惑。但是，权力也可以激励人、振奋人和提升人，因为它可以帮助人们成就非同寻常的事业。

What feelings do you have when you think about power? To some, power means control. To be powerful may feel heady, exhilarating, exciting. Some feel strong with it and impotent without it; invincible with it and vulnerable without it; comfortable with it or scared by it. Some feel that to have power is bad, that power itself is bad. Didn't Lord Acton insightfully observe that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely? Others feel it is desirable or even essential for successful living. But power is not really good or bad; it is neutral. Power itself is not negative or positive, although our feelings about it may be. Power is the potential to influence others for good or evil, to be a blessing or a scourge. Like nuclear energy, it can provide the electricity to light a city, or it can fuel the bomb that destroys it.

想到权力，你是什么感觉？对有些人，权力意味着控制他人。对有些人，拥有权力，让人陶醉、兴奋、激动。有些人认为，拥有权力就强大，没有权力就软弱；拥有权力就战无不胜，没有权力就脆弱不堪；拥有权力就惬意，面对权力就惧怕。有些人认为，拥有权力不是好事，因为权力本身不是好东西。阿克顿勋爵不就颇有见地指出，权力导致腐败，绝对的权力导致绝对的腐败吗？另一些人则认为，对于成功的人生而言，权力是有益的，甚至是必不可少的。但是，事实上，权力无所谓好坏，它是中性的。权力本身并无消极或者积极之分，尽管我们感觉它是这样的。权力，是给他人带来或好或坏影响的潜能，既可以赐福也可以降灾。权力，就如核能一样，既可以提供电力照亮城市，也可以点爆炸弹摧毁城市。

You might not think of it as such, but power pervades every aspect of your life. You wield it and are subject to it. This is because we are all interconnected. We live together, work together, shop together, worship together, and play together. In all these settings, we are with other people whose feelings, views, desires, goals, and values may be different from ours. When we come together, it is natural that we influence and are influenced by each other. Power is our ability to influence one another.

人们或许并未这么想过，但权力确实是渗透至人们生活的方方面面。人们支配权力并受权力支配，其原因在于我们是互相联系的。我们在一起工作，在一起生活，在一起购物，在一起做礼拜、在一起嬉戏玩乐。在上述情形中，我们是与拥有不同感觉、观点、欲望、目标和价值的其他人在一起的。大家聚在一起后，就会自然而然地影响他人并受他人影响。权力，就是我们影响他人的能力。

WHO IS POWERFUL?

谁拥有权力？

So who among us is powerful? How do we define power between individuals? If you're like most people, you know power when you see it, but you can't really define it. We seem to have an innate ability to measure power in our fellow man. An exercise I often perform with organizations illustrates this point. I've gone into companies and other groups with this request, "Here's a personnel roster -- rank these people in terms of their power." With no more than this single instruction, people have no difficulty completing the task. Although there is some disagreement about the ranking of those in the middle, most people readily agree on who really has power. In fact, what I often find is that everyone agrees who's at the top and bottom of the list. People seem to sense who is powerful. I find this agreement whether I am asking about power at work, power in politics, power in the community, or power in families -- wherever people are together.

那么，我们之中谁拥有权力呢？该如何定义个人之间的权力呢？就像大多数人一样，你看到权力就知道权力是何物，却无法给权力下一个确切的定义。我们似乎拥有衡量他人权力的天生能力。我经常在种种机构中进行的一项调查，就证实了这点。我曾经深入很多公司和其他组织，让其员工回答如下问题：“这是一本人员花名册，请根据权力大小给他们排序。”除此以外，没有更多提示，但是，人们都毫不费力地完成了任务。尽管人们对权力排位处于中间的人士存在一些分歧，但是，大多数人很容易地得出谁真正拥有权力的共识。事实上，我常常发现，对于处于权力名单顶部和底部的人士，大家的意见都一致。人们似乎凭感觉就知道谁拥有权力。我发现，无论我问的是工作上的权力、政治上的权力，抑或是社区中的权力、家庭中的权力——即不管人们聚在何处，都存在上述共识。

A group of automotive engineers testing the horsepower of an engine would be expected to concur on how powerful the engine is. Since we don't have physical instruments for measuring interpersonal power, what is it that causes this agreement when people are asked to rank the more powerful and less powerful people they associate with? I believe it is our perceptions, based on our experiences -- we feel it. When I ask people about those they know who they consider to be powerful, they often explain the source of their power in terms of an instance in which the powerful person played a significant role. This frequently includes some reference to the kind of relationships the powerful person has. For example, one might say, "Enrico is so powerful -- he gets anything he wants because people are afraid of him." Or, "Suzanne is pretty powerful -- she has what others want, and the only way they can get it is to go through her." Or, "I'd say that Chris has power with other people and they choose to follow him because they trust him -- they believe in what he is trying to accomplish."

测试引擎马力的一组汽车工程师，完全可以在引擎马力大小的问题上达成共识。可是，由于我们并不拥有测量人际之间权力大小的物理仪器，因此，在被问及所认识的人中谁的权力更大、谁的权力更小时，究竟是什么原因导致人们得出上述共识的？我相信，是我们的直觉，以经验为基础的直觉，让我们得出上述共识。每当我向人们打听在他们所认识的人当中他们认为拥有权力之人的相关情况时，他们往往以拥有权力之人发挥重要作用的事例说明其权力来源，一般均提及拥有权力之人所拥有的某种关系。例如，有人会这么说：“恩里科这么霸道，他想要什么就得到什么，因为人们都怕他。”或者会这么说：“苏珊娜相当厉害，她拥有别人想要的任何东西，别人只有通过她才能得到自己想要的东西。”或者会这么说：“我觉得克里斯在人群中很有威信，其他人都选择服从他，因为人们都相信他，相信他可以实现他正在努力实现的目标。”

Reflect on your own experience. Do you know a powerful person? This might be someone you have worked with, someone you have lived with, or some historical or current public figure you have read about. However you define power, this person has it. What makes others choose to follow this person?

想想你自己的亲身体验吧。你认识拥有权力的人吧？这个人，或许是与你共同工作的人，或许是与你共同生活的人，或许是你所了解的某一历史人物或者当代公众人物。无论你如何定义权力，这个人都拥有该种权力。想一想，其他人为什么会选择服从这个人呢？

THREE PATHS TO POWER

获取权力的三种途径

There are three options you should consider. First, is it because they are afraid not to? Perhaps this person has the capacity, authority, or ability to intimidate or bully people, to do something unpleasant or uncomfortable to other people. Is this person powerful because they can hurt others in some way, or embarrass them, humiliate them, impose sanctions against them, fire them, or take something away from them? If they are afraid that this powerful person can do something they don't like, others might comply just to avoid the problem. With fear as a source of this person's power, others might go along to get along.

我们可以考虑如下三个选项：

第一，是不是因为人们不敢不服从这个人呢？也许这个人具有威胁或者恐吓他人、做出让他人感到难受或者不舒服的能量、能力或者权势。这个人之所以拥有权力，是因为他会采取某种方式伤害他人，或者让他人难堪、羞辱他人、惩罚他人、解雇他人，或者夺走他人的什么东西吗？人们如果惧怕这个拥有权力的人会做出他们不愿看到的事情，就可能只是为避免发生上述事情而顺从他。由于惧怕是这个人的权力来源，他人或许是为了不惹麻烦而委曲求全。

Consider a second option. This person might be influential with others because of what they can do for them. This person has the capacity to do something that other people want. For example, they might offer one of the following: "I will pay you if you'll do what I want. I have something to exchange for your time and effort. I can give you information. I can give you opportunity. I can give you resources. I can give you power. I've got something you want, you've got something I want. Let's make a deal." This person has power because they can provide things that other people want, in order to get what they want in return. This is different from the first kind of power. There is no threat or force involved. Ask yourself, Is this second option the reason why people choose to follow the individual that I was thinking about? Is there something valuable they offer to do for them in exchange?

看看第二个选项吧。这个人之所以可以影响他人，或许是因为他能为其他人做些什么。这个人有能力给予其他人想要的东西。例如，他也许可以提供如下某种东西：“如果你照我说的去做，我会付钱给你。我用我拥有的东西换取你的时间和付出。我可以提供信息给你。我可以提供机会给你。我可以提供资源给你。我拥有你要的东西，你拥有我要的东西。我们做个交易吧。”这个人之所以拥有权力，是因为他能提供其他人想要的东西，以获取他想要的东西。这与第一种权力不同。它不涉及任何威胁或者武力。扣心自问，第二个选项是不是人们选择服从我所想起的那个人的原因？他为换取他所需要的而提供的东西是否有价值？

A third option represents an entirely different approach and a different kind of power. This category suggests that the person you believe is powerful is someone others believe in, someone they honor, someone they respect. They comply with this person's wishes because they want what she wants. Whether she is there or checking up on them or paying them does not matter. She believes in them and they believe in her. As a consequence, people willingly and wholeheartedly give themselves to what she asks of them. This person has power with others, not over them.

第三个选项，代表的是完全不同的处事方法和不同的权力。这个选项显现的是，你认为拥有权力之人，是人们信任之人，是人们尊重之人，是人们尊敬之人。人们之所以遵循其旨意，是因为人们所想的正是她所想的。无论她在不在场、监不监督或者付不付钱，都无关宏旨。她信任他们，他们信任她。因此，人们心甘情愿地全心全意地听从她的请求。这个人是与他人一起拥有权力，而不是拥有控制他们的权力。

It may seem artificial to divide your analysis this way. Perhaps the reasons people choose to follow the person you are thinking about fall into more than one category. Or perhaps the reasons people choose for following or listening or paying attention vary over time. The important thing is that you think about a real person and the possible reasons why they are powerful, why others choose to follow them.

如此划分你的分析思考，似乎并不真实。也许人们选择服从你所想起的那个人的原因，不只一条；也许人们选择服从、听从或者关注的原因，是因时而变的。最重要的是，你所想起的是一个真正的人，而且那就是他拥有权力以及其他人选择服从他的合理原因。

WHEN ARE YOU POWERFUL?

你何时拥有权力？

Now consider a different situation. We all recognize power in others, but are you prepared to recognize it in yourself? Think about a situation in which you were the powerful person, where your influence was significant with a group of people during the past year in your personal life or your professional life. Whether formally or informally, you were recognized as the leader -- they chose to follow you.

再看看另一不同的情况。我们都能认识到别人身上的权力，可是，你是否能够认识到自己身上的权力？好好回想一下，你拥有权力的情形；好好回想一下，你在过去的一年里，对自己工作或者生活圈的某群人具有重大影响的情形：不论是正式的还是非正式的，人们都把你视为领导者的情形，即他们都选择服从你的情形。

Recall a time in your life when you felt particularly powerful. Maybe you made a brilliant presentation or closed a major deal. Maybe you got a group of Boy Scouts to behave on a camping trip, solved a family dispute, or talked your way out of a potential problem. Maybe you were initiating a new activity or product, installing a new system at work, collecting money for a worthy cause in your own neighborhood, changing a program or policy at your children's school, or working to accomplish something for your community.

想想在你的一生中，你感觉特别有权的时候。也许是你作了精彩演讲或者完成了一大笔交易的时候；也许是你组织的一批童子军参加野营训练时表现出色，解决了家庭纠纷，或者凭三寸不烂之舌解决了潜在问题的时候；也许是你正在发起新活动或者发布新产品，在工作中安装了新系统，为所在社区的高尚事业筹集了款项，改变了你小孩所在学校的政策或者计划，或者一直在努力完成社区某一项目的时候。

Think of a specific setting, and a specific group of people that you influenced. In relation to that group, particular project, or endeavor, why did they choose to follow you? Why did they listen to you? Why were you influential with them? Consider the same three options for this analysis as you did for the person you recalled earlier.

想想在某一特定情形，你所影响的某一特定人群。在某些人群中，在某个项目中，在某项活动中，他们为什么会选择服从你呢？他们为什么会听你的话呢？你为什么会对他们有影响呢？试以分析早前回忆的他人拥有权力的三个选项，分析分析你的权力来源。

Which of the three types of power was most characteristic of you in the situation you recalled? It is possible that there was some combination. There seems to be a continuum of power, from feeling that we can do anything, to compromising, to demanding, to feeling that there is nothing we can do. But it is also likely that one of the three dominates the others in your interpersonal dealings, whether at work or at home. When you ask yourself these questions, you might realize that the way you handled a particular situation was not the only way available to you. In some instances, you might explore your options and move from one type of power to the next. Perhaps you use love and kindness, but when that falls short, you resort to bargaining. If bargaining fails, you might be reduced to threats. Maybe you even give up.

在那三种权力中，哪一种最符合你所回忆的你拥有权力的情形？很可能是三种权力皆而有之，或者融合了其中两种权力吧。从我们感觉到自己能够做任何事情，到妥协，到强求，再到感觉到自己什么事情也做不了，似乎存在权力从大到小直至毫无权力的状况。但是，也存在这种可能，在你与他人的交往中，无论是在职场还是在家里，只有一种权力支配着其他人。当你问自己上述问题时，你或许已经意识到，你处理某种问题的方式并非是唯一的方式。在某些情形中，或许每一种选择你都作了尝试，从此种权力转向彼种权力。也许你最初采用的是爱和善意，但是，不奏效后，你可能求助于讨价还价。如果还不行，你或许会诉诸威胁。若还是不行，你或许甚至会放弃一切努力。

What parent hasn't experienced this cycle with a child? A friend told me of such an instance that occurred when she was toilet training her son. Her first attempts at persuasion entailed kindness and understanding. She explained how proud she and his father would be if he managed to fill the toilet rather than his diaper. He refused to listen. In a second futile attempt, she explained to him how the earth would move and the angels would sing if he could only achieve this goal. All the child could say was, "No, no, no."

哪一个父母在养育孩子时，不曾经历上述过程呢？有个朋友告诉我，她在教儿子养成到洗手间大小便的习惯时，情况就是那样的。最初，她和和气气地好言好语地劝他说，如果他不再屙屎屙尿在尿布上，而能够在洗手间大小便，父母会是多么自豪。但儿子不听。接着，她又对他说，只要他能够在洗手间大小便，大地都会感动，天使都会唱歌，但仍然徒劳无功。对于这种情况，所有的小孩都会说：“我不，我不，我就不！”

She thought his smug two-year-old grin of self-amusement and satisfaction would drive her to the brink, but she maintained her composure. "How about you go on the potty, and I'll give you three marshmallows!" His response was laughable. "I don't want to go on the potty. Give me some marshmallows!" His demands continued for a matter of minutes, drowning out her pleas, and she finally broke. "All right, mister. You go on the potty or I'm going to lock you in your room and you'll never have another marshmallow as long as you live." Needless to say, this approach failed as dismally as had the first two, and the child ended up running into the bedroom, where he screamed, with the door closed.

她认为她那两岁的儿子沾沾自喜、洋洋得意的咧嘴一笑，足以把她推向崩溃的边缘，但她仍然保持镇定。“那就用便盆，好吗？我会给你三颗棉花糖！”他的回答令人哭笑不得：“我才不用便盆呢。给我一些棉花糖！”他如此强求了好几分钟，淹没了她的恳求。最终她发火了：“好吧，先生。你不用便盆，我就把你锁在房间里，你永远都休想得到棉花糖！”不用说，这种方法就像前面两种方法一样令人沮丧。小孩最终跑进卧室，把门关上，哭闹不已。

Though many of the situations we face may seem more important at the time than a confrontation with a temperamental two-year-old, we can learn some valuable lessons from this woman's experience. First, we always have a choice. Second, crisis plus time equals humor. It may be funny to look at this situation from a distance of miles and years. Most of us manage to arrive at adulthood having been potty trained somewhere along the way. But at the time, the confrontation between what we want and what another person wants can feel pretty intense.

虽然我们面对的许多情形，都比与一个任性的两岁小孩相对抗的时刻，重要得多，但是，从这个妇女的亲身经历中，我们可以学到一些宝贵的教训。第一，我们总是可以作出选择。第二，经过时间洗涤的危机就是幽默。也许在若干年后，或者以旁观者的角度来看，会觉得这一幕很有趣。我们中的大多数人在努力长大成人的过程中，都在某个时候接受过类似的用便盆的训练。但是，在那个时候，我们所想与另一个人所想之间的冲突，是相当紧张的。

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT POWER?

你如何看待权力？

If you feel that you could have more influence with others, that you could be more effective, whether it be with a child or a boss, you are not alone. Here are some revealing comments from participants in a public seminar I recently conducted. I asked the question "How do you feel about the power and influence you have with the people in your life?"

如果你认为，无论是对待小孩还是老板，你都可以对他人施加更大的影响，你都可以更有效率，那么，抱有你这种想法的，并非只有你一个人。下面是参训人员在我最近举行的公开培训班上所作的一些发人深省的言论。我的问题是：“你觉得，你对你一生中遇到的人具有的权力与影响是怎样的？”

A career executive with two preschoolers at home agonizes, "I don't feel like I am raising my own children. My influence with them is minimal. I try, and we have the best help we can get, but my kids don't seem to want to do anything I want them to do."

家里有两个尚未入学小孩的一位职业经理人感到极其痛苦：“我感觉我不是在养育我自己的小孩。我对他们的影响微乎其微。我尝试过，而且我们也得到了我们所能得到的最好帮助，但是，我的小孩似乎就是我指东，他往西。”

A manager in a small company protests, "All these new hires have such high expectations of us, but they are unwilling to commit, unwilling to learn, unwilling to get on board. They don't seem interested in doing the job that has to be done. In the old days, it was easy -- 'No work, no job.' But now there are threats of litigation. Everybody has more rights than we do, yet we are somehow supposed to achieve quality, continuous improvement, and reduced costs. What can I do?"

在一家小公司做事的一位管理人员诉苦说：“所有新员工对我们的期望都很高，但是，他们自己却不愿意付出，不愿意学习，不愿意工作。他们似乎对应当做的工作不感兴趣。在以前，可简单了：‘不工作，就失业。’但是，如今一不小心就会引起官司。每一个人都比我们享有更多的权利，可是，我们还得保证质量、不断改进服务、降低成本。我如何是好？”

Each of the comments you just read describes a dilemma. The individual is stuck and feels they do not have the power and influence they want. Although their concerns are legitimate, their beliefs are preventing them from seeing a way out.

上述每一个人所说的情况，描述的都是一种两难困境。每一个陷入困境不能自拔的人，都认为自己没有想拥有的权力和影响。虽然他们的想法是合情合理的，但是，其理念却在阻止他们找到出路。