父母是不能选择的，但我们可以选择怎样对待父母。 这是几段我对下面这段发言的回复。她的父母在她失业时多次说她没用，在她不想为他们做什么，比如担保他们出国，时威胁要和她断绝关系。

“What was the most hurtful things your parents have told you? For example, my parents had told me many times that I am useless when I was laid off.   My parents have also threatened to cut off ties if I would not do sth for them.  For example, when I don't think sponsoring a relative is a good idea.”

＝＝回复1＝＝

Be independent first. Then, to your parents, do whatever that won't make you regret later. If the relationship is not nurturing, at least do not let it be torturing -- you can stay away from them, cut your emotional tie to them.

Be close to those positive people and those who can give you support emotionally. Trust yourself, be strong, be happy.

Believe or not, to many of us, our parents are not really as loving as we used to think. They are rather selfish. We can still love ourselves, we can still hold up to our believes of love from other people, the loving kind of people.

Hugs



＝＝回复2＝＝

和自己亲生父母在情感上划清界限难比登天，但当不这样就不能保有独立完整的自己时 就必须听从理智。每个人把自己的日子过好是一个成年人最起码的责任。中国的很多父母养儿主要为了防老，骨子里是自私的。对这样的父母，尽量吧，只要今后不后悔就行了。