异地他乡

生怕闲愁暗恨,多少事、欲说还休。 今年瘦,非干病酒,不是悲秋。
正文

我的奥斯卡 (12) ——最佳电视剧奖

(2005-05-16 14:11:18) 下一个

另一部我挺喜欢的电视剧是《中国式离婚》。看这部片子的时候正是我和老公(当时还是未婚夫)住在一起,准备结婚的时候,所以特别有所感触。可能有的人觉得林小枫太过于折腾,用上海的话来说,叫做“撮”,所以才把生活弄成这样,自食其果。可是静心的想一想,林小枫其实本来是一个很好的主妇,一边工作,一边承担着家里的大部分家务。这已经比我能做的多多了。而在宋健平工作更忙之后,她放弃了自己的工作,一心一意的只是打点整个家,这是很大的牺牲,而这些,得到的回报却实实在太少了。宋健平把赞赏欣赏都给了其他的女人(大多数人都容易范这个毛病)。其实林小枫这样折腾,只是希望能得到宋健平的一点温柔,我不知道为什么对妻子说一句,“你辛苦了”或者“你很漂亮”或者“我爱你”或者“我错了”就那么难。在林小枫吵吵嚷嚷时,宋健平只是沉默相对。一天中午吃饭的时候,和同事聊起婚姻生活,她说起,最讨厌他宋健平式的沉默了。我们两个人都会心的笑了。

 

可能真的是因为男女有别吧,女生是特别需要别人的认同的,而中国的男生好像都不是很愿意说,觉得只要辛辛苦苦,挣钱养家糊口就是好了。可是真的不是这样的。在美国,丈夫会赞扬妻子的手艺,赞扬她的相貌,赞扬她地工作,赞扬她的智慧。我并不是崇洋媚外,可是在看到那些幸福的家庭,确实让我很眼热。

 

现在,大部分的人已经不再太多的担心生计,而更多的需要感情上的交流和关怀。我是真的希望男女双方多了解对方的感受,都能够改进自己的行为,减少矛盾,幸福快乐的在一起。也许是由于我是女方,所以尤其觉得男方有很多特别需要改进的地方。不过作为男人,也确实应该更gentle,更爱护尊重女士。我自己在看了这部片子之后,有很多心得,也改进了不少自己的不是。其实我觉得有些时候,我和林小枫挺像的,我老公也和宋健平挺像的,不过我们一直都在改进,这就是所谓的磨合吧,这个过程真是挺痛苦的,好几次我都觉得走不下去了,不过我老公很坚持,是这一份坚持让我们走到今天,我很感激。

[ 打印 ]
阅读 ()评论 (4)
评论
凤凰台上 回复 悄悄话 Hehe . . .

It is perfectly ok with me. My husband have not watched the show with me either. But still he improves. :)
m38 回复 悄悄话 very good advise except i will not watch that show for sure. i know that one sweet word, a birthday card go a long way. it is very nice chat with you about that issure.
凤凰台上 回复 悄悄话 Dear, I encourage you to say that to your wife. You will lose nothing doing that. On the contrary, it makes your beloved one happy. Isn't it a nice thing?

Moreover, I encourage you to watch the show with your wife and talk about it. I hope both of you could learn how to communicate with each other. I became more tolerate to my husband than before. It is not only because of the show, but also all the quarrellings, unhappiness... Anyway, I do not ask him to say he loves me any more. I try to feel from what he did. It might sounds more reasonable to you. But deep in my heart, I still long for the sweat words. It is a little pity to me... Think about it. I guess your wife have the same feeling as I do.

And may I warn you, I can perfectly resist the external temptation morally. However, mentally, hearing the nice words, which you guys do not say, does touch some part in the heart.
m38 回复 悄悄话 i did not watch that tv show and really do not encourage my wife to see that show. i myself am a gentleman and a husband and always am quite at home. it is just my nature of being quite all the time. but i am good listener. my wife from time to time get mad about me not saying enough of those words like " i love you" i always told her that is just culture thing. we are different then those people living in western culture. we did not put those words on mouth all the time. that does not mean we do not pay attention. I hope all can be more reasonable.
登录后才可评论.