1 只有一次/Only Once

A novice lion tamer was being interviewed. "I understand your father was also a lion tamer," the reporter queried.

"Yes, he was," the man replied. 

"Do you actually put your head in the lion's mouth?"

"I did it only once," said the new tamer, "to look for Dad."

 一位驯狮新手正在接受采访。“我知道你的父亲也是个驯狮手，”记者说。

“是的，他是。”那人回答说。

“你真的把头伸进过狮子的嘴里吗？”

“只有一次，”那位驯狮新手说，“为了找我爸爸。”

2 美德/Virtue    

Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.   

When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered.  "Perseverance is a virtue."             

获取研究生学位多年以后，我回到位于宾厄姆顿的纽约州立大学当教员。一天，在一个拥挤的电梯里，有人抱怨电梯效率低下。我说自我在那里当学生起，20年来电梯一直没有换过。     

最后当电梯门打开时，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑。“你会拿到学位的，亲爱的，”她低声说道：“坚持不懈是一种美德。”       

3 数学没及格/Flunking Math    

My son, who made the dean's list in his freshman year at Ball State University in Muncie, Ind., called home a few weeks after starting his sophomore year as a psychology student.    

"Mom," he said excitedly, "I have found the answer to surviving college! It isn't the grades that are so important, but the quality of what is learned and how it is applied to daily life. I'm lucky to be having these wonderful experiences!"   

"And just what does this mean?" I asked.   

"I'm flunking math," he replied.    

我儿子是印第安那州曼西市波尔州立大学的学生，大学一年级就上了院长的荣誉名单。第二年他学心理学，刚几个星期他就给家里打了个电话。     

“妈妈，”他激动地说：“我找到了如何在大学里生存下去的答案!重要的不是分数，而是具备将学到的知识应用于日常生活的素质。我很幸运地有了这种奇妙的经历。”     

“你到底是什么意思？”我问道。    

“我数学没及格。”他回答说。          

4 业余工作/Part-time Job 

When my son was a high-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles.  

"How was your first day?" I asked.   

"It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to some good-looking girls."  

Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"  

"Do you prefer paper or plastic?"           

我儿子在高中的第二年时，在一家超级市场找到了一份将商品装袋的业余工作。他满面笑容地回到了家。    

“第一天感觉如何？”我问。     

“好极了，爸爸。”他答道，“我跟一些漂亮的女孩子讲了话。”      

由于斯蒂芬不善言谈，我问道：“你跟他们说了些什么？”    

“你是喜欢纸袋还是塑料袋？”   

5 老板的主意/Boss's idea

When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.

Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for me to read the printer's directions and try the job myself.

Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"

"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repair things themselves first."

由于我的打印机不能打印出清晰的字来，我就打电话给维修部。一位和蔼的男人说我的打印机也许只是需要清理一下。

他还说，如果让维修部清理的话要交50英镑的清理费，让我最好看看使用手册自己试着清理。

他的话让我喜出望外，就问他：“你们老板知道你这样阻拦生意么?”

“事实上，这就是我们老板的主意，”雇员答道：“因为如果我们让用户先自行修理打印机的话就能从维修上挣更多的钱。”

6 可以选择/You May Select

The husband complained that his wife always cooked the same dish.

One day, the husband got home and asked his wife, "My dear, what will we eat today?"

The wife said, "You may select the dish today."

The husband was very glad and asked, "Which dishes are there today?"

"Cabbage."

"The others?"

"None."

"Then how to select?"

"Eat or not eat!" the wife said.

丈夫抱怨妻子总是做同样的一种菜。

一天，丈夫回到家，问妻子：“亲爱的，今天我们吃啥菜?”

妻子回答：“今天你可以选择。” 丈夫感到非常高兴，又问：“都有哪些菜呢?”

“卷心菜。”

“还有呢?”

“没了。”

“那你要我怎么选呢?”

“吃还是不吃!”妻子说。