1 各种测试/Tests

My battery commander and I were interviewing candidates for a position as reconnaissance sergeant in our artillery unit. The selected soldier needed to have keen eyesight, plus the ability to react quickly. During one interview, the commander pointed to a hill about a mile away and asked a young sergeant, "Can you see that hill over there?"

"Yes, sir, "he replied.

"Can you see the radio antenna on that hill?"  Again, the soldier said that he could." Well, then," the commander went on, "can you see the bird sitting on the antenna?"

The sergeant leaned forward and squinted.  " No, sir, "he said, "but I can hear it singing. "

He got the job.

我和我的炮兵连长在面试我们炮兵部队侦察中士一职的候选人。选定的战士要求有敏锐的观察力及快速的反应力。在一个面试中，连长指着一英里外的一座小山问一个年轻的军士:
“你能看到那座山吗? ”

“是的，长官。”他回答。

“你能看到山上的无线电天线吗? ”

那个战士他又一次回答他能够。

“那好，” 连长继续说:“你能看见天线上有只鸟吗? ”

这名军士把身体往前倾了倾，眯起眼睛，“不能，长官，”他说，“但我听得见它在叫。”

他得到了这份工作。

2 定义/Definition

Mark, our youngest son, was born after I had completed my active Air Force career. As a retired colonel, I enjoyed discussing with the children my time in the service. One day, Mark asked me what a colonel was, and I suggested he look up the word in the dictionary. “Dad, I think I found it," he said, a few minutes later. "Kernel: the soft part of a nut."

马克，我们最小的儿子，是我结束我的现役空军生涯后出生的。作为一个退役上校，我喜欢和孩子们聊聊我服役的那段时光。一天，马克问我上校是什么，我建议他去查查字典。“ 爸爸，我想我找到答案了。”几分钟后，他说: “果仁: 坚果中的柔软部分。” 

注: 英文中“上校”和“果仁”发音相同。

3 坐在乘客席上/Be a passenger

I've always had difficulty parking my large station wagon in head-on parking spaces. One day I was trying to fit into a spot and, with great embarrassment， pulled forward and back several times.

As I stepped out, a man standing beside the vehicle next to me remarked, "If I couldn't park better than that, I would take a taxi. "Then he got into the passenger's seat of his car and, with his wife at the wheel, rode off."

对于我来说，在车头对车头的停车场停放我那辆大旅行车总是一件非常困难的事。一天我竭力地把车停在一个空位里，前进、后退了好几次才成功，觉得非常尴尬。

当我从车里出来时，一个男人站在紧挨着我的车的一辆车旁说:“如果我不能停得比这更好，我就坐出租。”说完他上了车坐在了客人席上，他的妻子握着方向盘，把车开走了。

4 急转弯儿/Sudden turn

A guest of ours at the country club took a wrong turn and found herself in the men’s locker room.  She encountered a burly man clad only in a towel and puffing on a cigar. "May I help you?" he asked. "No, thanks," she answered calmly. "I'm just looking for the non-smoking section."

在我们乡村俱乐部里有位女客人，她拐错了弯儿，发现自己走进了男子更衣室。她遇到一个魁梧的男人，他只裹着一条浴巾在抽雪茄。“我能为您效劳吗?”他问。

“不，谢谢，”她平静地回答。“我只是在找非吸烟区。”

5 少了一品脱/One pint low

A tourist passing through South Dakota stopped at a blood bank to make a donation. Afterward, he was resting on a cot and saw another donor, who appeared to be a Native American.

The tourist struck up a conversation and asked, “Do you live on the Sioux reservation up the road?"

"Yes, " the man replied.

"Are you a full-blooded Sioux?"

"Well, actually, no, " said the man. "Right now I'm a pint low. "

有个旅行者在穿越南达科他州时，在一家血库献了血。献血后他坐在一张小床上休息。这时，他见到另一献血者。那个人看起来好像是美国的本土人。这个旅行家于是就和他攀谈起来。“你是不是住在路那边的苏族印地安人保护区?”

 “没错儿。”那人回答.

 “你是百分之百血统的苏族印地安人吗?”

 “噢，实际上不是， ”那人说:“现在我少了一品脱.”

6 一学就会/Quick-learner

"Dad, will you help me with my homework?"

"I'm sorry," replied the father. "It wouldn't be right. "

"Well," said the boy, "at least you could try.”

“爸爸，你可以帮我做作业吗? ”

“对不起，”爸爸答道:“帮你做不对。”

“可是，”孩子说，“你至少可以试试。”