1 歌德的包容/Goethe's Tolerance

Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, "I'll never make way for a fool." "But I will," with that Goethe retreated aside.

一次，歌德正在魏玛一个公园的狭窄小道上散步。碰巧，他遇见了一个对他怀有敌意的评论家。两人都停了下来，彼此相互对视。接着评论家说道:“我决不会给傻瓜让路。”“可我会.”说完歌德退到了一边。

2 谁更丑?/Who Is Uglier?

Abraham Lincoln's ability to laugh at himself sustained him through his many adversities. One example he often recalled was the time when an ugly man thrust a revolver in his face. Lincoln tried to remain calm, asking the man what he wanted. The man replied, holding the gun to Lincoln's head, "Some years ago I swore that if I ever came across an uglier man than myself, I'd shoot him on the spot."

Relief crossed Lincoln's face and he lost all his tension and anxiety. "Shoot me," he said to the stranger, "for if I am an uglier man than you, I don't want to live."

亚伯拉罕·林肯自我解嘲的才智帮助他度过了许多灾难。他经常回想起一个例子，一次一个丑陋的男子用一把左轮手枪顶在了他的脸上。林肯努力保持镇静，问那人想要什么。那人用枪指着他的头，回答说:“多年前我发过誓，如果见到一个比我还丑的人，我就当场击毙他。”

一丝欣慰掠过林肯的面庞，他的紧张和焦虑一扫而光。“开枪吧，”他对那个陌生人说，“因为要是我比你还丑，我就不想活了。”

3 反击/Counterattack

The German poet Heine was Jewish. Once at a party a traveler said to him: "I found an island where, to my surprise, there were no Jews or donkeys!"

Henie said calmly: "Well, this defect can only be remedied when you and I together go to the island!"

德国大诗人海涅是犹太人。有一次晚会上，一个旅行家对他说:“我发现了一座岛屿，令我惊奇的是，那个岛上竟然没有犹太人和驴子!”

海涅不动声色地说:“看来，只有你我一起去那个岛上，才会弥补这个缺陷!”

4 萧伯纳的智慧/Bernard Shaw's Wisdom

In one dinner party, a capitalist eyed bony Bernard Shaw up and down, and said in all seriousness, "Look at your appearance, it really makes people believe that all the British are starving."

Bernard Shaw, examining the potbellied capitalist, said, "But, I know as soon as I saw you the reason why Britain is suffering from famine."

在一次宴会上，一个资本家上下打量着瘦骨嶙峋的萧伯纳，一本正经地说:“看看你的模样，真叫人以为英国人都在挨饿。”

萧伯纳审视着大腹便便的资本家说:“但是，我一见到你，就知道英国正在闹饥荒的原因了。”

5 聪明的翻译/A Clever Interpreter

A famous writer who was visiting Japan was invited to deliver a lecture at a university to a large number of students. As most of them could not understand English, he had to have an interpreter.

During his lecture he told an amusing story which went on for rather a long time. At last he stopped to allow the interpreter to translate it into Japanese, and was very surprised when the man did this in a few seconds, after which all the students laughed loudly.

After the lecture, the writer thanked the interpreter for his good work and then said to him, "Now please tell me how you translated that long story of mine into such a short Japanese one."

"I didn't tell the story at all," the interpreter answered with a smile. "I just said, the honourable lecturer has just told a funny story. You will all laugh, please.'"

一位在日本访问的著名作家受邀到一所大学为众多学生演讲。因为他们中大多数人不懂英语，作家请了一名口译。

在演讲中，他用了相当长的时间讲了一个有趣的故事。最后他停下来让口译把它译成日语。他感到非常奇怪的是，口译只用了几秒钟就翻译完毕，而学生们都大声笑了起来。

演讲之后，作家非常感谢这位口译的出色工作，并说:“请告诉我，你是如何把我那么长的一个故事译成如此简短的日语的?”

“我根本就没有讲那个故事，”口译微笑着回答，“我只不过说，‘尊敬的演讲者刚才讲了一个很可笑的故事，请你们大家笑一笑。'"

6 晚饭后我从不工作/I Never Work After Supper

A penny-pinching farmer didn't want his hired hand to stop working. One morning,he told the farmhand, "It's such a nuisance to come in from the field, wash up for lunch and take time to eat. Why don't we save time and eat lunch now?"

The hired man agreed. The farm's wife brought in some cold meat and fried potatoes,and the two men ate again.

When they had finished, the cheap farmer said, "While we're still at the table, let's have supper too." They were now served steak, boiled potatoes and mixed vegetables, and they ate once more.

 "Now that the meals are done," the farmer announced, we can go out and work all day without interruption."

"Oh. no," the farmhand answered. "I never work after supper."

一位农场主非常吝啬，不想让他雇佣的帮手停下来休息。一天旱上，他对帮手说:“从地里回来，又要洗手吃饭，又花时间，真是太不方便了。我们何不省点时间，现在就吃午饭呢？”

雇员同意了。农场主的妻子端进来一些冷肉和炸土豆。于是，两个人又开始吃起来。

吃完后，吝高鬼说:“既然我们还在桌子边，那我们连晚饭也吃了吧。”这次上桌的有排骨、煮土豆和杂烩青菜。于是两个人又吃起来。

“现在三顿饭都吃过了，”农场主宣称道，“我们便可以出去一整天不停地干活了。”

“哦，不，”那帮手回答说，“晚饭后我从不工作。”