1《思想者》/ The Thinker

Two boys were admiring the famous statue by Rodin entitled The Thinker.

"What do you suppose he's thinking about?” asked one.

"I guess he's thinking about where he put his clothes." replied the other.

两个男孩正在欣赏罗丹的著名雕塑《思想者》。

“你猜他在想什么”其中一个问道。

“我猜他是在想他把衣服放在哪里了。”另一个回答说。 

2 惩罚/Punishment

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."

The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this. By the way, what was it that you didn't do?"

The little girl replied, "My homework."

小女孩从学校回到家，对妈妈说：“妈妈，今天在学校我因为没做过的事受到了惩罚。”

妈妈惊叫着说：“那太糟糕了！我要去和你的老师谈一谈这件事。顺便问一下，你没做过什么？”

小女孩回答说：“家庭作业。”

3 孩子的祈祷/Children's Prayer

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents' house. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers, when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs: "I pray for a bicycle. I pray for a new toy."

His older brother leaned over, nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."

To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

两个小男孩在祖父母家过夜。睡觉的时候，两个小男孩跪在床边开始祈祷，这时小一些的孩子扯开嗓子大声喊道：“我祈求得到一辆自行车。我祈求有一个新玩具。”

他的哥哥靠过来，用肘轻碰他说：“你为什么这么大声喊叫呢？上帝又不是聋子。”

弟弟回答说：“是的，但是奶奶听不到呀！”

4 插在何处/Where It Should Be Plugged

A mother is very good at using every chance to educate his son, who was only three years old. One day, she took a plug and said to her son, "Look, there are two pieces of copper, so it must be plugged in a place where there are two holes. Where do you think it should be plugged?" She waited for an answer expectantly.

"Plug in nose." is the answer.

一位母亲十分擅长利用每一个机会教育孩子。她的儿子只有3岁。一天，她拿着一个插头，对儿子说:“看，这里有两个铜片，那它一定要插在有两个孔的地方。你说它应该插在哪儿呢?”母亲满怀期待地等着儿子的回答。

“插在鼻子里!”儿子回答说。

5 孩子的视角/Kid's Perspective

On the way home from the first day of school, the father asked his son, "What did you do at school today'?"

The little boy shrugged his shoulders and said, "Nothing".

Hoping to draw his son into conversation, the father persisted and said, "Well, did you learn about any numbers, study certain letters, or maybe a particular color?"

The perplexed child looked at his father and said, "Daddy, didn't you go to school when you were a little boy?"

在上学第一天回家的路上，父亲问儿子，“你今天在学校做了什么？”

小男孩耸耸肩说:“没什么。”

为了把儿了引到谈话中来，父亲继续着话题，说道:“那么，你学习了任何数字、字母或者也许什么特定的颜色吗?”

困惑的孩子看着父亲说:“爸爸，难道你是一个小男孩的时候没有上过学吗?”

6上帝失踪了/ God Is Missing

There were two brothers who were always up to some mischief. If somebody had been locked up in his house, or if somebody's dog had been painted green, one always knew who the culprits were-the brothers. One day the boys' mother asked a priest to talk to her sons and put the fear of God in them so that they would mend their ways. The priest asked her to send her sons to him one at a time. When the younger boy came, he made him sit and asked him: "Where is God?" The boy did not answer. The priest asked again, in a louder voice: "Where is God?" The boy remained silent. But when the priest asked the same question for a third time, the boy jumped up and ran away. He went straight to his brother. "We are in big trouble!" he gasped. "What's wrong'?" asked the older boy, warily, wondering which of their sins had caught up with them. "God is missing," said the youngster, "and they think we have something to do with it!"

有两兄弟总是搞恶作剧。如果有人被锁在自己的房子里，或者谁家的狗被漆成了绿色，人们总知道谁是罪魁祸首—兄弟俩。一天，男孩的母亲请牧师和她的儿子们谈谈，让他们对上帝感到敬畏，以便他们能改善他们的行为。牧师叫她把两兄弟一个一个地送过来。年幼一些的孩子过来了，牧师让他坐下，问他:“上帝在哪里?”男孩没有回答。牧师又问，这次声音更大了:“上帝在哪里?”男孩仍然保持沉默。当牧师第三次问同样的问题时，男孩跳起来跑走了。他直奔向他的哥哥。“我们有大麻烦了!”他喘着气说。“你怎么了?”年长的男孩谨慎地问，想知道到底因为他们做的哪件坏事人们要逮捕他俩。“上帝不见了，”弟弟说，“他们认为这事和我们有关!”