最新文章
文章分类
归档
2009 (179)
2010 (242)
2011 (208)
2012 (169)
2013 (161)
2014 (114)
2015 (143)
2016 (142)
2017 (91)
2018 (86)
2019 (66)
2021 (47)
2022 (47)
正文
1 请假 A Holiday from School
Tommy hated school and was always looking for excuses not to go.
If he sneezed, he asked his mother to write a note saying he had a cold.
If he had a headache, he asked his mother to take him to the doctor during school hours.
He spent more time at home than he did at school.
On the days that he did go to school, he looked for excuses to come home early.
One morning he came home when the lessons were only half finished.
His father was surprised.
"You've come home early," he said. "Is the school closed today?"
"No, Dad, " Tommy said - "It's open. I came home early.
"How did you do that?" his father asked him. "What did you say to the teacher?"
"I told her that I had a new baby brother and that I had to come home and help you."
"But your mother has had twins," his father said, "a boy and a girl. You've got a baby brother and a baby sister."
"Yes, I know, Dad, “Tommy said. "I'm saving up my baby sister for next week."
汤姆讨厌上学，总是找借口不去上学。
如果他打喷嚏，他就叫他妈妈写个纸条说他感冒了。
如果他头痛，他就叫他妈妈在上课时间带他去看病。
他呆在家里的时间比在学校的时间要多。
在他的确去上学的日子里，他就找借口早点回家。
一天早上他上了一半课就从学校回来了。
他爸爸很惊讶。
“你回来很早，”他爸爸问，“今天学校放学了吗？”
“没有，爸爸，”汤姆说，“还没放学。我提前回来了。”
“你怎么会提前回来了？”爸爸问，“你对老师说什么了？”
“我告诉她我有了一个小弟弟，我得回家帮你。”
“但是你妈妈生了一对双胞胎，”爸爸说，“一个男孩，一个女孩。你有一个小弟弟和一个小妹妹。”
“是的，我知道，爸爸，”汤姆说，“我要等下个星期再说我有个小妹妹了。”
2 聪明的儿子 Intelligent Son
One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter, the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.
After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"
"Certainly."
"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
"Then why you didn't take it back?"
"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"
一天,父亲让8岁的儿子替他发封信.儿子跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。
儿子回来后,父亲问他:"你把信丢进邮筒了吗?"
"当然。"
"你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?"
"我当然看见信封上什么也没写。"
"那你为什么不拿回来呢？"
"我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!"
3 我饭后从不工作 I Never Work after Supper
A penny-pinching farmer didn’t want his hired hand to stop working. One morning, he told the farmhand, “It’s such a nuisance to come in from the field, wash up for lunch and take time to eat. Why don’t we save time and eat lunch now?”
The hired man agreed. The farm’s wife brought in some cold meat and fried potatoes, and the two men ate again.
When they had finished, the cheap farmer said, “While we’re still at the table, let’s have supper too.” They were now served steak, boiled potatoes and mixed vegetables, and they ate once more.
“Now that the meals are out of the way,” the farmer announced, “we can go out and work all day without interruption.”
“Oh, no,” the farmhand answered. “I never work after supper.”
一位农场主非常吝啬，不想让他雇佣的帮手停下来休息。一天早上，他对帮手说：“从地里回来，又要洗手吃饭，又花时间，真是太不方便了。我们何不省点时间，现在就吃午饭呢？”
雇员同意了。农场主的妻子端进来一些冷肉和油炸土豆。于是，两个人又开始吃起来。
吃完后，吝啬鬼说：“既然我们还在桌子边，让我们连晚饭也吃了吧。”这次上桌的有排骨、煮土豆和杂烩青菜。于是两个人又吃起来。
“现在三顿饭都吃过了，”农场主宣称道，“我们便可以出去一整天不停地干活了。”
“哦，不，”那帮手回答说，“晚饭后我从不工作。”
4 谁最懒 Who Is the Laziest
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？
汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。
父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？
汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
5 上班迟到 Late for work
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
一个家伙上班迟到了。老板嚷道：“你应该8:30已经在这里了！”他回答说：“为什么？8:30发生什么了？”
6 感到难过 Feel sorry
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.
我为不喝酒不吸毒的人感到难过。因为有一天，他们会在医院的病床上，奄奄一息，他们却不知道为什么会这样。
(from internet)
点点好! 喜欢你的点评,都非常到位:)
点点,新周快乐!
哈哈,问好燕子,周末快乐!
尼斯好! 那儿子也太可爱了:)
尼斯,周末快乐!
闲闲客一定是品学兼优的好学生,压根儿就没想到过跷课:)
闲闲客,周末快乐!
阿松周日愉快！
小小好! 嗯,汤姆很有歪招:)
小小,周末快乐!
哈哈,唤唤,你就难过会儿吧,免得到处捣乱~~~
周末快乐!
汤姆也太聪明了，哈哈！
松松周末快乐！
哈哈,雪花,估计你也不会迟到:)
雪花,周末快乐!
哈哈,纽约美眉,没法逃学正好做好学生了:)
纽约美眉,周末快乐!
圓圓厉害,跟贴都合着押运:)
祝圓圓天天笑口常开,开心快乐!
哈哈,就喜欢MM的笑,知道MM永远不会老,都是笑的~
花生MM,周末快乐!
我也总惦记着来这里狂笑。。。
花甲老翁好! 汤姆太调皮了:)
花甲老翁,周末快乐!
汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。笑一笑
週末愉快