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1 请假 To Ask For Leave
"So you want another day off,” snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”
Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”
Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”
“这么说，你又要请一天假，”老师怒气冲冲地对他的学生汤姆说，“我倒想知道你这次找什么借口。你已经请了四次假说去参加你爷爷的葬礼。”
汤姆回答说:“今天是我奶奶再次举行婚礼。”
2 我希望您的面包病好了 I hope your bread gets better
I was making rolls and, needing a warm place for the dough to rise, put the bowl in a heating pad. Then I left the house on an errand. When I came back, I found this note from my son: "Dear Mom, I hope your bread gets better."
我在做面包，需要把面团放在一个暖和点的地方使它发起来。我把面盆放在电热褥里，后来就出去干别的活去了。等我回家时，发现儿子留下一张纸条，上面写着：“亲爱的妈妈，我希望您的面包已经病好了。”
3 大五个月 Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John's brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy's family name, so when he saw John's papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了？”军医问。
“十八，长官。”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗？”
约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”
4 数学教授 A Math Professor
A math professor has just been knocked down by a speeding car. A police officer rushed over and asked“Were you able to get the license number of the vehicle that hit you, sir?”
The professor replied，"Well, not exactly，but I do recall that if the number was multiplied by itself, then divided by three, the square root of the answer would turn out to be the original number with the integers reversed.”
一位数学教授被一俩时速很快的车撞倒了。警察跑过去问:“先生，您能说出撞您的那辆车的车牌号码吗?”
教授回答:“嗯，我说不准，可是我记得，如果将号码自乘，再除以三，然后开方，则平方根正好同原数的次序颠倒过来。”
5 等明年再说 Wait till Next Year
The woman was reading the newspaper as she and her husband were eating breakfast. "Did you hear about this, dear?" she asked. "It seems a man traded his wife for season tickets to the Spurs. You wouldn't do a thing like that, would you, sweetheart?" "No way," answered the husband. "The season's almost half over."
一位女士和她先生正在用早餐，她边吃边看报纸。“亲爱的，你听过这则新闻吗？”她问道。“似乎是一个男的为了看马刺队的比赛，用他太太跟人换了球季的门票。你不会那么做吧，亲爱的？”“我才不会那么傻呢！”先生答道。“今年球季几乎都过了一大半了."
6 渴望爱情 Thirstin' for Love
Thurston was in the habit of visiting his girl-friend's apartment from time to time, but always managed to get home at a decent hour with a plausible excuse. But this time, both he and his girlfriend had fallen asleep, and it was 2:00 a. m before Thurston came to. Thinking fast, he immediately called home, and when his wife answered, panted, "Don't pay the ransom! I've escaped!"
沙斯敦经常去他女友的公寓住处，但他总是设法找个理由以免太晚回家。但这一次，他和女朋友都睡着了，当他醒来时都已经凌晨两点了，沙斯敦脑筋一转，立刻打电话回家，当他太太接电话时，他故意喘着气说：“千万不要付赎金！我已经安全逃出来了！”
(from Internet)
哈哈,Windows9数学很好,也很认真地推敲了,佩服一个:)
欢迎来玩,周末快乐!
整全的教育好!很欣赏你的中文教学,让华裔的后代受益.
周末快乐!
感谢你的来访，中文教学的质量提高以后，受惠最多的还是华裔。
canhe好! 你的见解独到, 想到聪明反被聪明误:)
祝canhe阖家新年快乐,事事如意!
含嫣好! 很高兴你喜欢:)
祝含嫣阖家新年快乐,万事如意!
幸福剧团好! 新年快乐!
闲闲客好! 如果Tom没有说谎,他的奶奶真是很不一般:)数学教授不是非常牛,就是在开玩笑:)
闲闲客, 周末快乐!
问好美丽! 嗯,人家一会儿功夫都算了若干回合了~
美丽,周末快乐!
周末来松松这儿， 总是开心!
谢谢， 松松周末愉快!
家mm好! 约翰真是不会撒谎:)
家mm,周末快乐!
哈哈,nycman,就是,人家嫁几次都行:)
nycman,周末快乐!
贝卡好! 数学老师功夫不一般哈:)
贝卡,周末快乐!
问好fengdaming! 周末快乐!
“Life goes on" 是真理。谁说奶奶不能再嫁呢！
蔷薇好!
新年快乐!
点点好! 那个老师还真被说得没话说了.嗯,面包受冷就胖不起来了:)
谢谢点点喜欢,周末快乐!
整全的教育,你好! 你可以随意放在你想放的网站.这期都不是我翻译的.以前的有个别的没有中文翻译的,我简单地翻译了一下,但大多数都是原来带的翻译.
周末快乐!
一帧好! 你的版本也非常好笑,大妈一下就揭露了谎言.
一帧,周末快乐!
www.holisticedu.us 和同学们分享，不知可否？
另外，你文章里的(from Internet)是不是指英文？
若是，中文是否是你翻译的？
谢谢！
一男士搂着一美女接电话：“老婆啊，我自己在大街上，一会就回。”旁边大妈看着不顺眼，高声喊道：“806退房！”