The “O” goes with the “B”

By 鸟一哥

Montreal 公干.

喜欢自己开车,把自己的生命放在素不相识的人手里,那是多大的信任.

可是这次不同.这是冰天雪地的新的一年,严寒多雪的一月.还是把车祸留给他人吧.

出了大厅,钻进出租车.从说话的嘟啦声可以断定开车的是东欧人.

车子动了起来,望着车窗外冬季凄凉的景色.一股B.O.气味迎面扑来.赶紧打开车窗.晕晕呼呼的想到的是很显然出租车的regulation 有一巨大漏洞. 就象有传染病的人不能从事餐饮业一样,有B.O.的人不能开出租车. 随即便是Jerry Seinfeld 片段的playback.

Jerry: Boy, do you smell something?

Elaine: Do I smell something? What am I, hard of smelling? Of course I smell something.

Jerry: What is it?

Elaine: I think it’s B.O.!

Jerry: What?

Elaine: It’s B.O. The valet must have had B.O.

Jerry: It can’t be. Nobody has B.O. like this.

Elaiine: Jerry. It’s B-O!

Jerry: But the whole car smells.

Elaine: So?

Jerry: So when somebody has B.O., the “O” usually stays with the “B”. Once the “B” leaves, the “O” goes with it.

Elaine had her hair professionally washed at least twice but still stinky.

Jerry had his car professionally washed, but still smelly. He left his car to a homeless.

接着想起了多年前报上讲的一个故事.

一黑哥们哼着小调走在乡间的小路上去上班不幸被skunk给自卫了.正好赶上这黑哥们嗅觉有毛病,一路上人们掩鼻躲避,丫愣不知不觉.到了办公室好心人告之这才意识到先前他人目光的异样神情的跪异.满澡盆的tomato sauce 洗不去身上的异味,干洗店的老板不论价拒受皮夹可.

该不该给小费? 给吧,BO人也要养家糊口.

到了旅馆,放下行李.洗澡换衣服.闻一闻,嗅一嗅,还好The “O” goes with the “B”.

说起来大老远的在特定的时刻飞来钻到这辆特定的出租车是一种巧遇或缘分.猿粪smells.