我想你一定可以感觉得到，当一个人在夜晚的时候，孤零零地站在浩瀚无垠的沙漠上仰望着天上那一轮清澈的月亮时，那种感觉是多么的孤独。可是你觉不觉得当你站在喧哗的人群中却茫然不知所措的时候，那种感觉会更加的孤独呢？这种孤独真的是痛彻心扉。
I think that you would be easy to feel that how loneliness when you was standing at vast expanse of desert and looking up to the moon on night by yourself. But do you feel when you are standing into the noisy crowd and at a loss what to do , the feeling of loneliness would getting stronger? That feeling used to give me lot's of complex painful.
我至今也无法猜测妈妈是怀着一种怎样的心情把我送入学校的。7岁那年，我跟同龄的孩子一样，穿着好看的衣服，背着漂亮的新书包，心中欢快的唱着：小鸟在前面带路，风儿吹向我们，我们像小鸟一样，来到花园里，来到草地上。。。对很少走出家门的我来说，心情更是欢快的不可言说。
Even now, I stil could not guess that what was a kind of mood with my mother had sent to me to school when I was seven. That year, I was wearing beautiful clothes and carrying a new back bag, the cheerful singing in my heart like same age chirdren.

妈妈每天小心翼翼的把我送进教室之后，总是要站在门外跟老师叮咛几句。在转身离开的时候，也总是不忘给我一个温暖的笑。

Every day, My mother had sent to me into classrom and then had standed out side of the class door to talk to my teacher  some few words, after that she had never forgotten to give me a warm smilling when she left.

于是从老师那里我得到了别的同学得不到的待遇：学校打扫卫生的时候，老师会搬一张椅子在走廊尽头，要我安静的坐在那里；课间广播体操的时候，我可以留在教室里做自己喜欢的事情；体育课时，我则被老师安置在操场上最温暖的地方一动不动的坐着。。。
So by the way, I had gotten a diffrent treatment with other students from my teachers.- Teacher put a chair on the end of the corridor and let me to sit when other students were doing clean our classrom. I could stay at the room when others were going out side to do excise at break time. When we learn sport outside in sport class, I had always placed a warmest place by teacher to sit and to see other students how happy they were playing and running at front of me. 
我就那样一个人静静的托着下巴，无声无息的坐在阳光的角落里，看着同学们在我面前开心的跑、欢快的笑。就那样孤独的坐在长满青草、开满鲜花的操场上看着草长莺飞、花开花谢；聆听着明媚的风在我耳边窃窃的低语；细数着树叶一片一片地纷乱下坠，然后掉在我脚边悄悄的死去；怀抱着寂寞等待着季节年复一年的走过我儿时的青青草场。

久而久之，每个同学都开始睁大眼睛用好奇的目光上上下下的打量着那个面色苍白，瘦弱无骨的我，像是发现了一个新奇的怪物。每个老师看到我也都是微笑的摇摇头，虽然那是很微妙的动作， 却足以令我万分难过了。

于是，我开始尝试着让每一个同学都接受我：我把好吃的糖果分给他们吃，要知道这些糖果连我的姐姐弟弟都吃不到的；我把闻起来香香的橡皮给他们用；还讨好得帮那些学习不好的同学写作业。。。可是后来我发现我根本无法做到坚持，因为他们并没有因此对我露出丝毫的微笑。所以，当我做到一半的时候我就发现自己已经累得精疲力尽了。从那时起，我开始学会了隐藏温柔。。。

想到这些我就想掉眼泪。

我是多早就学会了一个人寂寞啊，我的脸上越来越多的呈现出不敢让人接近的冷漠。 我多希望会有明媚的风儿向我吹过来，将我身体的每个缝隙都填满温暖的味道，融尽我所有开始结冰的骨骼。

这种不可名状的孤独，注定摇晃着我的一生，并在我的生命里站成了无法消磨的永恒。