我刚才无意中看到一个校内好友分享的日志，日志的名称叫做 出国就像A片，看得人爽，演的人不知道有多辛苦。因为我不太喜欢读这样题目的日志，所以我也没有bother去读这篇日志的内容，但看了这篇日志的题目，我也在问我自己出国像什么。

其实我觉得出国什么都不想像。我在美国10多年，我极少会care别人对于我在美国这些年的生活的看法是怎样的，因为我觉得我活着不是给别人看的。别人读了我的日志，不管是说我10年过的值了或者说太悲剧了，我觉得every1 is entitled to his/her own opinion, however, at the end of the day,只要我自己明白我是吃几碗干饭的，只要我自己feel happy and satisfied w/ the life that i been living for the past how many yrs, thats good enough for me.

说实话，有些时候我觉得我来美国这10多年是有些时候会感到无奈，辛苦。我记得我上高中的时候，有一次在ap_chemistry的课上，我跟我的高中铁哥们，matt_kresca,我俩瞎聊天，我就跟他讲，in China, my life is like here(用手比户一下，呵呵), however, when i first came to America, my life fall to the bottom, however, the reason that i_was willing to come to america is that i believe if i work hard, some day, i will get to the top.   Whether i will get to the top or not, idk, but i rather believe thats the case. 所以我不知道其他人出国的人怎么想，但至少来美国这些年，我还是挺enjoy这种辛苦的，因为至少我在做我认为值得的事情，也没有逼着我说我必须要大学毕业，我必须要学什么电子工程。但因为我觉得这么做是对的，所以我会这么做。如果这么做的结果是我要活的辛苦一点，so_be_it..但the moment when my dream becomes reality, the feeling i get is really priceless, it is an experience that im going to remember for a long long long time.  I will remember the fact that all the frustrations, all the nighters that i had to pull to study for the ece courses, however, i will also remember how happy i felt when i received my diploma or realized that my relationship w/ the xxxx's ece department is officially over, lol. 

而且我记得我在北京的时候，我每天去我在北京住的地方的对过吃饭，我看那些服务员，我觉得他们也挺辛苦的，只是我觉得他们辛苦多多少少有些无奈，因为你20几岁一天能干10多个小时，30几岁能干10几个小时，可这么干下去说句不太好听的，有头吗。但我的这种辛苦，至少im doing something that i want to do,写到这里,我突然feel bad for those waitress that i met in bj.  I feel lucky and fortunate that i have the opportunity to go to school between the age of 7-22, instead of trying to make ends meet.  But i guess thats just life, and there are certain things in life that we just don't have control over, work w/ what you have and make the most out of it...

1/23/11