Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup? Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa. Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product. Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy? Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning. Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart. Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out. Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said. Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case. Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to. Homer: Bart, go to your room
Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides,every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of mybrain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgothow to drive?
Bart: Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. Homer: Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love! Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl. Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy. Homer: That's the spirit. Never give upHomer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
Mr. Burns: I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion.Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish tosucceed in business.
Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Apu: Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know.