When ex-husbands get alimony

A woman who is the primary breadwinner in her marriage could wind up paying support after a divorce. And sometimes she should, lawyers contend.

Amy Williams, 38, never imagined she\'d end up a single mother of two paying alimony to an ex-husband. Yet that\'s where the media executive found herself when her 10-year marriage dissolved in 2004.

During the early years of the relationship, Williams (whose name was changed here due to privacy concerns) supported her husband while he completed a doctorate in history. The assumption, she says, was that he would find a job in academia. That day never arrived. He was unable to find work but also didn\'t want to be the primary caregiver for their kids. So Williams paid for child care.

When the two decided to part ways, it became clear that Williams wouldn\'t be able to simply walk away. Why? According to family law, Williams was the primary breadwinner, and her husband was viewed as a dependent spouse who needed help getting back on his feet. With the help of a mediator, the couple reached a financial agreement: In addition to splitting their assets, Williams agreed to give her former spouse $15,000 for a car and pay $14,000 in financial support spread out over 14 months.

My feeling was that I worked hard while he was trying to figure out a career, Williams says. I was penalized for that during the marriage and then after it ended. (See 5 mistakes married women make.)

One-third of wives are chief breadwinners
You don\'t have to be as successful as Britney Spears or Reese Witherspoon to fear getting sued for alimony. Like Williams, more women today are obligated to pay their ex-husbands some form of financial support, says celebrity divorce attorney Raoul Felder. Though there are no official statistics on this trend, wives are the primary breadwinners in one-third of all marriages, according to the federal Bureau of Labor Statistics, leaving them at risk of paying maintenance should the unions fail.

Call it the dark side of the liberation coin, Felder says.

Historically, it was men who were obligated to pay alimony based on the assumption that women couldn\'t support themselves, says Alan Feigenbaum, a co-author of The Complete Guide to Protecting Your Financial Security When Getting a Divorce. This was indeed the case in the 1950s and 1960s, when most wives were homemakers and cared for their children. In the 1970s, however, society and divorce laws shifted. Women entered the work force in larger numbers, and family laws regarding marital support were made gender-neutral.