Sometimes when you do something bad you don't even dare to think of it. If you think it, you can't live, you just want to die right away. Don't know why I always always complain mama even I don't she did so so so much for me. But in front of her, I even don't call mama. I have so much activies waiting to share with mama, like travel to Banff with the whole family. Now, I have no passion to do anything. The world is so so so dark and evil. There is no 善良.

I don't think I can be a good mother, no matter how hard I try. God, you kill my mom, but not only her, you kill me and my kids too. You destroy two families. Like you kill my grandma long time ago, equal kill my mama already since that time. Mama is not a normal girl any more. Even how hard she tries to be a good mama to me, I still can't be happy.