I came to like the BBC comedy Coupling more and more. Smart, poignant and of course laugh-out-loud funny.

There are six characters in the show (3 women: Sally, Susan and Jane; and 3 men: Steve, Patrick and Jeff) who are very much sexually-intertwined. ;) Except Jeff, obviously.

Here’s a taste of the dialogue:

She Says

Sally

I don’t want to look great. I want to look thin.

Since thirty, I’ve had to put a daily limit on facial expressions. I only ever smile at single men so I can justify the loss of elasticity.

Bottoms are our natural enemy... They follow us around our entire lives, right behind us, and constantly growing. How do they do that? I’m sure mine’s back there secretly snacking.

You’ve always got to send a man a book when you split up, to prove how you’re a caring, giving person, and how they’re going to die in a pit of their own filth.

A woman’s breasts are a journey. Her feet are the destination.

Patrick: You can’t prevent death with face cream.
Sally: Yeah? That’s what everyone thinks, but no-one’s ever used it in the quantities I do.

Susan, you are offering this man food and sex in the same place. If there’s something to read in the loo he may never leave.

As Susan's best friend I am to you a bit like Australia: very distant, largely uninhabitable and with areas of great danger.

(to Patrick) I don’t need you to think of me as 'a person' - I have women for that.

Always the same with men, isn’t it? Looks like a starter handle, works like an off-switch.

Jane

Friendship’s more lasting than love, and more legal than stalking.

I really quite like being single. Except for the bit about not having a man.

We just stood there looking at each other. There was so much electricity, you could have executed ten fat murderers!

I went on a course. Learning to love yourself. I came top.

I really thought I’d gone to his house, you know, to heal our spiritual divide. But it turns out I was just gagging for a shag. Those two are so similar.

Susan: Just out of interest, how did you pass your driving test?
Jane: Morally.

Susan

Well, you know what it’s like at the start, when they’re all fiery-eyed, and eager, and they haven’t seen you naked yet. And it’s like he’s smashing at your door with his mighty battering ram. And he’s promising to ravish you forever. So you brace yourself for man overload, and throw open the doors, and what do you find standing there? An oversized toddler who wants his dinner. And before you can say 'there’s been a terrible mistake', he’s snoring on your sofa, the fridge is full of empty bottles and the whole place smells of feet.

Jane’s breasts scare me. They’re like Mickey Mouse’s ears. Whichever way she turns, they’re still facing you.

It’s always scary when you see that final corner approaching, isn’t it? And you’re thinking: did I touch his thigh often enough? Did I stare at his mouth long enough? Did I flick my hair too much?… Yeah, I used to over-flick. So easy to cross the line between suggesting flirtatious and approachable, and suggesting there’s something living in your ear.

He Says

Steve

We are men. We are different. We have only one word for soap. We do not own candles. We have never seen anything of any value in a craft shop. We do not own magazines full of photographs of celebrities with their clothes on.

Let me explain, Patrick. Here on earth there is a gap between seeing someone you like and having sex with them, that we like to call conversation.  

It’s not genetically possible for men to have opinions about fabric.

There are three things all men should know, and it’s time you did too. You’re never going to be famous, you’re fatter than you think, and most important of all, they don’t keep wearing stockings.

When man invented fire, he didn’t say, 'hey, let’s cook', he said, 'great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark.'

Lap dancing is the ultimate nightmare of man. Porn that can see you.

Jeff

Whenever I have sex with Julia, it’s just so realistic.

Maybe women are completely different when we’re not with them. Maybe they’re not cross all the time.  

Patrick

If I don’t like a woman, if there’s no chemistry, if I’m not attracted to her, then I don’t lead her on, I just get out of there... every time, before she even wakes up.

I like films with lesbians in them because it’s nice to think there are attractive women out there who can’t find a boyfriend.

Susan: Does your dick do all the talking?
Patrick: I don’t know. I’ll ask it.

Sally: What do you call people you go out with but you don’t try to sleep with?
Patrick: Men.

Patrick: I don’t have an agenda. That’s a bit offensive, actually. I’m perfectly capable of being friends with a woman without any kind of agenda.
Steve: For how long?
Patrick: As long as it takes.

Mark: Yeah, but I mean, does size really make a difference? You know what woman always say?
Patrick: Ouch?

Title song: Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

You won't admit you love me.
And so how am I ever to know?
You only tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

A million times I ask you,
And then I ask you over again.
You only answer
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

If you can't make your mind up,
We'll never get started.
And I don't wanna wind up
Being parted, broken-hearted.

So if you really love me,
Say yes.
But if you don't, dear, confess.
And please don't tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.