My D's 1st year in pre-school: 经历和感想 (2)
来源: crazydog 于 07-08-21 12:36:32

Her time line of adapting to school:

1. First two visiting days (parents around): loved the school, especially snacks.
Formal school Day 1 and 2: no cry. Keenly observe everything and everyone and looked very nervous and stressful.

2. Week 2: cried for 3 days on and off, but managed to eat snacks, some of the lunches, go to nap in the midst of crying. Teachers always tried to hold her when she was crying hard. She usually stopped a couple of minutes after being held. By Friday, she started to show her naughty side, which made us relieved a lot.

3. Week 3-5: honey moon period. Loved school. Refuse to go home at the end of day. Actually she cried a few times having to go home. Too many outdoor equipments to play. Starts to develop a liking for the late PM program with older kids.

4. Week 6 to 7 months: Start getting sick one after another non-stop. Getting bored with indoor games. Getting pushed around by a little boy (I will write another piece about it). Hate school.
At home, one big tandrum/crying episode at the end of school a day, many times for no reason--just the needs to let out the stress that has been accumulated for a full day.
Many night wakenings and crying in her sleep (dreams). Some of the wakenings were due to illness. Others were stress related.

We did quite a number of travelings during this time (China, Hawaii, San Diego, etc). She loved those, which made it harder to go back to school. The week after sickness was also hard.

She did not talk for 7.5 months at school. When she talked to another kid finally, that boy screamed: "She can talk!" Knowing that normally she is very talkative and usually talks non-stop at home, I can feel her suffering during those months.

5. Starting from 7.5 months, she started to "come out", becoming more verbal and outgoing. By 8 months, she had two fights with two boys. In both cases, she won. This made her more confident. She now had more fun in school too.

6. By 10 months, she made a friend in her class-unusually strong friendship for kids this age: sticking together every minutes of the day, everyday. By this time, she demanded to go to school even on weekends.

What the teachers did to help her:

1. Initially the teachers held her while crying. They learned a few words of simple chinese from one teacher who knew Chinese in school so that they could comfort her.
They wrote brief notes about the highlights of her day, talked to me whenever I was peeking from the window. Warned me all the expected behaviors ahead of time.

2. They tried to distract her with books and games and trying to figure out what types of books and games interested her. By week two, they realized that she was bored with all the existing games. Therefore they designed new games specially for her, trying to keep her interested in school.

3. Whenever they could not figure out her reasons of crying or when she had a run-in with another kid, they invited the other teacher who knew Chinese to come talk to her, making sure that her voice was heard.

4. Late PM teachers gave her toys from the older kids' group to play and allowed her to play with things beyond her group activities. It was almost 1 on 1 attention during the most difficult time. Once she fell in love with the scissor, they allowed her to sit there cutting papers for 2 hours without moving. They allowed her not to participate in circle time or story time so that she could focus on her cutting. They even gave us a free pair of the special scissor to take home for her. These late PM special treatments were key to her eventual liking of the school.

5. Had two mid-year meetings with me to compare notes about her, their view of who she is and my view of who she is, and to discuss what to be done to help her, etc. etc.

She started to like the late PM first, then spread to her morning routine. I must say that without the late PM teachers patience, love and experience, she would not be where she is today. I am extremely grateful to them.

Next time, I will share what the key factors made the transition for her.