My D's 1st year in pre-school: 经历和感想 (1)
来源: crazydog 于 07-08-21 11:13:04

Last week, the first school year officially ended with an art show and a graduation ceremony. As a parent, it was very emotional for me. Looking back, it was a roller-coaster ride, never lacked excitement and pain, but fortunately ended with happiness and laughter. In the end, I learnt more about who my D really is, and she grows up to be stronger and more confident. But it was extremely painful during the process--lots of sleepless hours and doubts whether this was the right school for her or whether she would be able to cope with the school/educational system in the future. It was much harder than I have envisioned. Maybe my D is a unique example and her case cannot be applied universally, but our experience may be helpful to some parents.

Two commonly heard things that were proven NOT true for us:

1. Kids adapt easily. It will only take a couple of weeks or a month for them to get used to it.
2. Kids pick up language easily. In a month, they will talk confluently.

What to expect:

The initial acute phase of separation period takes on average 8 weeks. If the teachers were experienced, it can be shorted to 6 weeks. This phase is marked by crying and received the most attention. But the 2nd stage lasts much longer. It was 6 months for us. In total, it took her 8 months to like school life.
Potential signs of separation:
Crying (1-2 weeks); reversal of toilet training; night wakening and crying; temper tandrum & refusal to come to school (months); discipline issues.

Non scientific observation: the sensitive the kids, the harder it is; boys are easier than girls; younger/clueless kids are easier than older kids.

What helped for the 1st two months:
1. talking to kids about school routine; what is asked of her (eat her lunch, put everything back to lunch box, nap by herself; etc). My D did amazingly well on these even though she was crying, she still did everything by herself.
2. set up a morning good-bye routine helps, like reading one book or play one game with her before leaving.
3. Always say good-bye before leaving. Never sneak out.
4. A stuff animal of her choice or pacifier for nap time for the first month or so helps with nap time. A comforting routine helps. For us, it was a bottle of warm milk right after nap. The teachers did this specially for her for 2 months.

What you can do to help kids adapt over the long run:
Teach English at the same time or slightly later than Chinese. The stronger the language skill of your kid, the more important this is.

What helps your life as a mom:

Relax and trust your kid. In the end, they always come out stronger. Give them a chance to manage their own lives. Actually, even if you want to help, there is not much you can do. They need to run the full course of their experience to come out. All of these are based on one condition: you find the good school (daycare).

More to come when I have time.