Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?
I'm a for profit organization

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
because it's cheaper to make round pizzas and square boxes

What disease did cured ham actually have?
Not tasty enough

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Because men never had to take their luggage anywhere far before they planned for the moon trip.


Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Only people without babies would say that.


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Yes, he hears without listening.



Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
TVs are too small to be in them.


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
So they can feel like God.


Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
It's a free country. Choices are provided even though they're bad choices.


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Jimmy wrote the song himself


Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Yes. A corpse is a person, just a dead one.


If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
He's a geek to the core.

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Goofy played tricks with the artist.


If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
What fun is that?


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Does corn oil go on corn, vegetable oil go one vegetables?


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
probably since the smarter people get, the less moral they turn.


Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
no, different rhythmns.


Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
I didn't. Having two kids these tunes are engraved in my brain.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
is a dog any diffrent from a child? Copyright clipmom 2007