素不相识
萍水相逢
正文
－－－－－－－－－－由素不相识翻译－－－－－－－－－－
Paddy 正满头大汗地在找停车位，他要赶去参加一个重要的会议。抬头仰望苍天他祈祷道，“上帝啊！可怜可怜我吧。如果你能给我找着一个位子的话，我保证从今往后每个礼拜天都到教堂去做礼拜并且戒掉我的爱尔兰威士忌。
奇迹般地，一个停车位出现了。
Paddy又朝天上望着说，“不必了，我找着了一个。”
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Murphy 神父走进了Donegal的一间酒吧，他对见到的第一个人说“你想进天堂吗？”
Murphy 神父走进了Donegal的一间酒吧，他对见到的第一个人说“你想进天堂吗？”
那人说“当然了，神父。”
神父说“那就到墙那边站好。”
然后神父又问第二个人“你想进天堂吗？”
“是的，神父。”那人这么回答着
“到墙那边站好了。”神父说
然后Muphy神父 走到O'Toole的面前问他说“你想进天堂吗？”
O'Toole说“不，我不想。神父。”
神父说“我简直不能相信，你是在告诉我，当你死了以后，你不愿意到天堂去？”
O"Toole说 “噢，当我死了以后是要去的。我以为你现在就让大家集合到那儿去呢。”
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Gallagher打开晨报时简直呆掉了。报上的讣告说他死了。他赶紧给他的好友Finney打电话。
“你看报了吗？”Gallagher问道 “他们说我死了。”
“是啊， 我看了！”Finney 回答道 “你从哪儿打来的？”.....言下之意是不是从天堂里打来的。
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一个爱尔兰牧师开车去纽约的路上因为超速在康洲给拦了下来。警察闻道了牧师呼出的酒味，看到了车里的空酒瓶。
他说“先生，你喝过酒了？”
“只是水” 牧师说
“那为什么闻起来是酒呢？”
牧师看看酒瓶说，“上帝啊！他又干了一回！”.......圣经里有个故事耶稣能将水变成酒。
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进了酒吧 Mike 对调酒师Charlie说 “给我来杯厉害的，刚和那个小妇人打了一架”
“噢，是吗？”Charlie说“这次是什么结果啊？”
“结束的时候，”Mike说“她的手脚都在地上那。”
“真的？”Charles说 “这次倒是反过来了，她怎么说的？”
她说“从床下爬出来，你个胆小鬼。”
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Flynn跟他的酒肉朋友Paddy喝了一晚的酒后很晚才摇摇晃晃地回到了家。为了不吵醒太太Mary，他进门时将鞋脱了。
他踮着脚尖尽可能轻轻地上楼。但一步没踏好失去了平衡，他赶紧抓着楼梯扶手，摇晃了几下还是重重地一屁股摔在了地上。裤子后袋里的威士忌酒瓶也给砸碎了，使得硬着陆更加痛苦无比。
强忍着痛没叫出声来，Flynn挣扎着站了起来。脱下裤子照着镜子一看，屁屁也开花流血了。找来一盒Band-Aid进了最大的努力将所有有血的地方都给贴上。最后他将几乎空了的Band-Aid盒子藏藏好，然后磕磕绊绊地爬上了床。
早上醒来Flynn是头痛屁股痛，Mary则在屋子的另一端拿眼瞪着他。
早上醒来Flynn是头痛屁股痛，Mary则在屋子的另一端拿眼瞪着他。
她说“你昨晚又喝醉了，是不是？”
Flynn说“你为什么要说的这么刻薄？”
“啊，”Mary说，“也许是因为这敞开的大门，也许是因为楼梯口上的碎酒瓶，也许是因为房子里的血迹，还有你那布满血丝的双眼，但是.....最重要的.....是那些贴在镜子上的Band-Aid!”
--------------------------------原文----------------------------------------------
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
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Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do, Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
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Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"
ababab
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An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
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Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees."
"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."
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Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed .
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"
Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."
--------------------------------原文----------------------------------------------
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do, Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"
ababab
------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees."
"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed .
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"
Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."
评论
素不相识
2007-05-17 13:51:06
回复
悄悄话
回复tenyu的评论:当然~当然~不必客气!
tenyu
2007-05-17 09:16:12
回复
悄悄话
谢谢你！辛苦了。我可以转贴吗？
素不相识
2007-05-15 13:20:30
回复
悄悄话
你好tenyu,原文找到了.加在翻译后面.Enjoy!
tenyu
2007-05-14 05:09:04
回复
悄悄话
你好：能找到英语原文吗？
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