Hi everyone. I've written on here before, but the past couple of days
have been the worse. I am a PWS with blocks. I tense up and can't get
words out. I am currently in my fourth year of college majoring in
SLP but learning that I am going to have to a difficult time even
finishing up my undergrad because I am required to take on a client
next fall and spring before i graduate and I have to be pretty fluent
in therapy. This, and the fact that i have been told that GRad School
will be extremely difficult has made me begin to rethink my future. I
do not believe I will be going to grad school anymore, not just
because of my stutter but because of the money and whatnot. I am
thinking about finding some other job helping people, mainly kids
with disabilities or perhaps an SLP assistant.
However, I am not getting to the point of this post. I have been
so down on myself lately. I am so frustrated when I have so much to
say and I can hardly get one word out sometimes because I tense up so
much in certain situations, like public speaking. Take for instance,
today in one of my classes, my teacher wanted us to talk about these
papers we had written in groups of three, and I completely freaked
out, couldn't breathe, etc etc. He then said I could try and just
talk to him about it. I thought it would be a little easier, but I
still could hardly say anything. I just don't know what to do
anymore, I guess its my own fault for always being afraid in certain
situations like telephone use and public speaking in front of a
class, that I literally cannot make it through. I know the best way
to get over my fears is to confront them, but how can I when I can
barely get anything out?


Advise from a Professor who stutters

The previous advise about getting together with other
persons who stutter is a good one.

As for graduate school, I very strongly encourage you
to not give up on it. You are in the best position to
help others who stutter. You know it intimately. It
may not be easy, but nothing worthwhile is easy. And
I suspect that turning your focus from helping
yourself to helping others will take off some of the
pressure that you are putting on yourself. This is
also one way that support groups are so useful. As
for the money for graduate school, many, if not most,
provide funding for graduate students. It is usually
just enough to live on and little more...but you can
do it.

How do I know all of this? As a severe stutterer I
went to graduate school and got my PhD. It was the
best thing that I ever did. I am now a professor. I
was still a severe stutterer when I started teaching
(a class of 150) a couple of years ago. This was very
hard on me, but it forced me to look for how to
improve my speech through therapy, support group
attendance, and other personal explorations. Now my
speech is improving and teaching is so much easier.
If I had waited for my speech to improve before going
to graduate school or taking a job as a professor, I
don't think that my speech never would have improved,
thus, I never would have achieved what I have today.

And by the way, you don't have to be fluent to be a
clinician. If someone told you that, then they are
wrong. Whether you stutter or not doesn't determine
whether you are a good communicator.

So don't be so hard on yourself, stop pitying
yourself, and continue moving forward. And find other
stutterers who will understand and be willing to help
you. You are not alone.