Here is my version of your letter,  Hopefully it is helpful to you.

Dear Mr./Ms. XXX
I took the bus on route 41 to (at?) UCSD 9:00 PM Monday 10/24/05.  The bus driver was a very polite and helpful young man.  He was excellent and I greatly appreciate his service.
However, on the bus, there was no route map to show the next stop.  A passenger who is a stranger knowing little about the city or speaking little English, is certainly nervous on the bus.  He might even feel scared, especially during night when a passenger cannot see anything outside the bus.
Put ourselves into the passenger’s shoes, how should we feel if we are traveling in a foreign country like Mexico, without speaking any Spanish?  A bus route map is definitely a big help.
I am not expecting to add more busses in the city which might be difficult for the county( city), I know many low-income residents do hope so and they are indeed in need of more busses though.  I wish that you and the transportation department could do more like adding route map in the bus, which is very convenient and helpful to the passengers.
I will greatly appreciate your quick response at your earliest convenience.  Please call me at (XXX) XXX-XXXX should I be of any help regarding about this issue.
Once again thank you very much for your consideration and response.
Best Regards,
XXX.