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灵子: 四十岁后的女人

(2007-04-30 05:28:55) 下一个

Women after 40

Lingzi


How old are you? Will you tell me your age without hesitation if youare a woman over 40?  Some of us are afraid to tell our real age.  Why?A few years ago, one of my co-workers got upset when people threw abirthday party for her when she turned 40. I am sure you have heard thephrase, "Over the Hill". I did not understand it when the first time Iheard it. People explained to me that the age 40 is the top of thehill, and after the 40, life goes down hill. Is being 40 years old thatbad? Is there really a hill? I am 42 now.  How come I am not feeling mylife going down hill already? In my dictionary, the age 40 is just asbeautiful as the age 20, or is just as beautiful as 60 or 80.  Age isjust a number, a counter of life span.  

Here is a story I would like to share with you:

Two weeks ago, I watched an Oprah Winfred Show.  Oprah brought a ladynamed Evonne to the stage. Oprah asked the audience to guess how oldEvonne was.  The audience just randomly guessed between 35 and50.  Actually Evonne is 70 years old this year. When Evonne goes outwith her 50-year-old son, people think she's his date!  Evonne takescare of herself by exercising right, eating right, and she has onesecret she shared with the audience. The secret is moisturizing.  Shemoisturizes everyday. We should start to do it too, hmm?   One thing Evonne is doing right is taking care of herself.  

Another lady is Marcia.  When Marcia was a little girl, she was crazyabout horses.  She lived in the city, so she never could get her ownhorse.  In her mid-40s, Marcia decided to reshape her life;  she packedup and moved to Austin, Texas. She bought her first horse just beforeher 47th birthday and she got her Bachelor's degree at age 50. Marciaeven turned her love of horses into a business. She looks beautiful andyoung.  Marcia says that things that keep her looking young are herattitude and the fact that she is doing what she loves to do. Shefollowed her dream. We need to follow our dream, don’t we? We need todo something we enjoy.

How can we live a beautiful life and have a young heart? I was thinking over and over.

First, a caring and loving heart. With that, we admire people aroundus, we help the people who need help, and we accept people who evenmade mistakes.

At the age of 40, most women are somebody’s wife, somebody’s mom,somebody’s daughter, somebody’s sister, or somebody’s friend.  We playmany roles, and we have a lot of responsibilities. One key role wesometimes forget is caring for ourselves.

So secondly, we owe ourselves the responsibility to take care ofourselves. If we don’t, how is that possible we can be strong enough totake care of others?


The third, a hobby or a special talent you enjoy. You are passionateabout it and love to do it even when you are alone. Some people like tosing, dancing, reading, music and sports, anything you have fun withit.

The last and foremost is friendship. The real friends are always therefor you no matter if you are up or down. They cheer you up, and comfortyou or even remind or alert you when they think necessary.

You can see I am expecting for my third baby now. Things are notflexible as before; however, I still try to get many activities aspossible. Besides my full time work, and the care of my two young daughters,I enjoy singing, dancing, writing and many more other activities, See,I came tonight to give a speech since I did not want to miss thisopportunity to share my thought with you. Some people asked my age whenthey saw I am expecting, I always happily tell them that I am 42 years,and still expecting the baby, and still expecting many other beautifulthings in my life.  

Monday and Tuesday this week was winter break for Northville schooldistrict. I took two days off and with girls. We had a blasted timetogether. We planned to go out for lunch, movie and sledding. The mostsparkling time on that day was when I watched the girls go sleddingfrom the top of the hill.  They screamed with joy.  I can not sled withmy current shape, so I sat in my car comfortably, with soft jazz musicon. Through the window, I could see the girls flying on their sledswith a beautiful white snow background, the sunshine was reflectinginto my car. I also could feel the kicking from my tummy. That moment,with seeing kids flying, music, sun and kicking, I felt great! I feltlife was just precious, I am very thankful for everything I have.

Even though I am over 40, I do not think I am over the hill yet. Ifthere is a hill, the top must be at the front door to heaven.  We cannot predict when God will take us. But before that, life should bealways going up hill. <>  should not evenbe a topic, since there is no boundary anywhere. My friends, that is myreal thought.  Let’s open our eyes and hearts to see beautiful worldaround us, enjoy our beautiful and precious life in any moment.

 

 

 

四十岁后的女人



如果你是一个四十岁以上的女人,你会无所顾忌地告诉别人你的年纪吗?我们中间有些人是不会的。为什么呢?几年前我的一个同事竟然很沮丧当大家给她开四十岁生日聚会。我想你可能听说过:“过了山顶”一说。第一次听到时,我并不懂它的含义。朋友解释说,四十岁就是山顶,过了四十,生命就开始走下坡路了。四十岁真的那么糟糕吗?真的有座山吗?我已过了四十了,怎么没有下山的感觉呢?在我的字典里,"四十"和"二十"是一样美丽的;或者说"四十"和"六十"、"八十"一样具有意义和美丽的。年纪只是一个记载我们生命的数据,难道不是吗?

两星期前,我无意中观看到Oprah Winfred主持的电视剧。Oprah在台上首先介绍了一位嘉宾Evonne,让观众猜她的年纪。大家估计Evonne 在三十五到五十之间。实际上,Evonne今年七十岁,当Evonne 和她五十岁的儿子一起散步的时候,人们认为他和她是约会的伴侣!Evonne的养生之道在于吃得营养健康和坚持锻炼。她说还有个秘密就是每天都需要均匀地涂上护肤品。我们也应该开始这么做,对吧?  Evonne 做的很正确的一件事就是照顾好自己。

还有一位嘉宾Marcia。Marcia小时候就非常地喜欢马,但是她住在城市,没有机会养马。四十多岁的时候,Marcia决定换个活法。她一鼓作气地搬家去了德克萨斯州。Marcia在四十七岁生日前买了第一匹马,五十岁的时候拿到了本科学位。Marcia对马的爱好还让她有机会发展了自己成功的生意。Marcia其实已有五十五岁了,但她看起来年轻又漂亮。Marcia在台上说她永保青春的秘密是对生活的态度,还有就是她做她喜爱的事。Marcia圆了儿时的梦,实现了自己的理想。

那么怎样才能保持一颗年轻的心,活得美丽、潇洒呢?我反复地思考着。。。

首先,我们需要一颗爱心。有了这颗爱心,我们会去赞美周围的人,也会去帮助那些需要帮助的人,并且我们会接受和原谅那些有错或者伤害了我们的人。

四十岁的女人往往已是为人妻,为人母。上有老,下有小,还有工作。身上的担子不轻,不过常常我们会忘了自己。

所以,第二,我们欠自己一个重担,就是照顾好自己,像Evonne一样。否则,我们怎会强壮得有能力去照顾别人呢?心有余而力不足的主妇有什么用呢?

第三,我们每人都需要一个爱好。你非常地热爱。即使独处,你也会热情高涨地去做的一件事。有的人爱好唱歌、跳舞、阅读、音乐、运动。。。只要你喜欢的都可以。

最后一项但非常重要的就是友谊。真正的朋友会在你身边无论你处境如何。她们会祝贺你,安慰你。也会在关键的时候提醒你。

爱心,能力照顾自己,爱好,朋友。。。如果你缺少的话,努力拥有吧。

你们可以看出我已是七个月的身孕了,等待着第三个孩子的出生。举手抬足没有以往那么灵便了。不过,我还是尽力参加许多活动。除了每天的工作和照顾两个女儿以外,我喜欢唱歌、跳舞(孕妇拉丁舞)、写作和其它一些活动。你瞧,我今晚来参加演讲比赛,就是不想错过这个机会来分享我的观点。有人看见我挺个肚子就问我多大了。我总是笑迷迷地告诉他们:“我已42啦,仍然期望着新生命的到来,仍然期望着许多其它美丽的事情发生。”

这个星期女儿们放了两天冬假。我特地请了两天假陪她们。我们把两天时间安排的满满的,一起出去吃中饭,电影,滑雪板滑雪。这两天的时间过得真快,和女儿们在一起快乐无比。那一天最难忘的时刻是看见孩子们从山顶上滑下来,她们快乐得大声喊叫。我目前的体型是不能滑雪的。我舒服地斜靠在车里,欣赏着轻柔的爵士音乐。通过车窗,我可以看见女儿们在雪白洁净的山坡上飞滑下来,太阳光慷慨地从车窗外洒进来。不时地,我可以感觉怀里的小生命的移动。那个瞬间,远处孩子们的飞滑和嘻笑,音乐,阳光还有肚子里的胎动,让我真满足,感觉好极了!我仔细体会着生活的美丽和珍贵。我非常感恩我生活中拥有的一切。

虽然我已过四十,却没有下山的感觉。如果有座山,山顶不是在四十岁,而是在通向天国的前门。我们不能预测上帝什么时候会领我们去天国,在那之前,生活之路应该是永远地向上。<<四十后的女人>>不应该是一个话题,因为那从来就不是一个界线。亲爱的朋友,这就是我今天想和大家分享的真实想法。让我们睁开双眼欣赏这美丽的世界,让我们敞开心怀去珍惜生命的每一个瞬间。

 


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阅读 ()评论 (5)
评论
toobusy 回复 悄悄话 Definitely agree we should take care of ourselves. But we cannot be in denial either.
deledele 回复 悄悄话 Admire your metality and spirits.
Have fun.
花枝俏 回复 悄悄话 42岁生小孩,有点儿玩大了,良好的心态并不就是"装嫩” 。人生中没有hill,人生是旅途,不同的阶段有不同的风景,并且是 "风景这边独好"。
臭老王 回复 悄悄话 灵子又是洋文又是国文,果然灵呀!如此灵子会听女人40“过了山顶”还不明白意思?还有,Oprah Winfred主持的talk show也能翻成“Oprah Winfred主持的电视剧”?
xyczy 回复 悄悄话 说的好啊, 我刚刚40岁,以前觉得女人过了40岁就开始走下坡路了,现在看来,人生从40岁开始!我还不算太老!
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