If your purpose of learning English is not 融入社会, then you are probably at a lower level. However with years growing, you might want to have some friends at work and that in return helps maintain your employment status especially in the days of high unemployment rate. I have found that being positive is important in daily communications.

我在中国的经验是，朋友见面多半发点儿牢骚，可是在这边儿，人们通常不把自己的不如意带给别人，Therefor, being positive will be easy to keep the talks going with English speakers. And the more you talk, the more personalities you demonstrate, and the easier you impress people that you are an easy-to-go person.

Being positive may come from two trails. One is optimistic, the other belongs to communication skills.

Most likely, optimistic is how you think. 例如，你遇到了挫折，你想人生总会遇到点儿挫折的 -- 这是乐观。如果你是一个乐观的人，那你总会把你的乐观态度带给别人，进而，你也就 positive 了。

我儿子抱怨今年暑假没过好，没好好玩儿。我说：“但是你 make 了一个 big achievement。你考上了 IB program and 你进了 rep team. That's a huge achievement.” 他说：“是，不是每个人都能同时进 IB 和 rep team 的。”

然而，有些时候是不容乐观的，那怎么办呢？

清朝期间，湘军大统领曾国藩讨伐天平天国，初战阶段失利，陷入绝望，在写给皇帝的奏折中提到「屡战屡败」。当时的军师觉得不妥，改为「屡败屡战」。朝廷在看到奏章后，认为其勇气可嘉，没有处罚反而委以重任。

一个用词的次序，可以给人完全不同的感受。

前几天，我到美国中部的一个州出差，问到那里的房价，manager 先说房价 relatively stable (没有暴涨也没有暴跌 - 没有投资价值)，接着一句话很 positive：“People here are responsible owners.”

一次， manager 问我 project 拖期的事，拖期的原因是用户不断地增加新内容，但如果你直白了，就是抱怨用户了，那还谈得上为用户服务吗？我就厚了一把脸皮，“In all my training courses, the life cycle of a production development is always plan - implementation- evaluation - support, and then start over again. So it's a loop. Like in design phase, they get an idea and I make it happen. And then they get inspired, and they get further ideas. If we want them to give us a complete specification at the very beginning, I doubt if they can do it. Actually, we are helping them finalize their ideas. They won't complain. The tradeoff of the delay is, in the end we provide them better service. We server them better; we make the business better, and the business makes our customers feel better to use our applications.”没想到经理无限同意。

怎样才能 positive 呢？Always use positive words. It is important to always choose our words wisely, and especially vital when we are doing affirmations.

有人说：这几天成天下雨。就有人说：草都绿了。

有人说：今天可真长啊。就有人说：可是这个星期就短了。

但是，做为中国人，我们不是用英语思维的，那怎么办呢？有人总结了一些 positive 的英语单词，如果能背下来，并记住意思，那么在日常对话中就会不自觉地用了。

Abiding Able Abstinence Acceptance Accomplished Accountable Achieving Acknowledging Acquiescent Active Adoring Advanced Affectionate Affirming Aglow Agreeable Alert Alive Altruistic Ambitious Amenable Amusing Angelic Appealing Appreciative Approachable Approving Aspiring Assertive Assisting Assured Attentive Attractive Awake Aware Balanced Beautiful Believing Benevolent Bestowing Blameless Blessed Bold Boundaries Bountiful Bravery Calm Capable Careful Caring Caution Certain Charitable Charming Chaste Cheerful Clean Clear Comforting Commendable Committed Compassionate Composed Concerned Confident Confirming Conscientious Considerate Consoling Contemplative Content Contributing Controlled Co-operative Correct Courageous Courteous Creative Cultured Curiosity Daring Decent Dedicated Deliberate Delicate Decisive Delightful Detached Determination Devotion Devout Dignified Diligent Discerning Disciplined Discretion Discriminating Distinctive Distinguished Dutiful Dynamic Eager Earnest Educated Effective Efficient Eloquent Empathy Empowering Encouraging Energetic Enkindled Enlightened Enriched Enterprising Enthusiastic Equitable Excelling Exciting Fair Faithful Fearless Fidelity Firm Flexible Focused Forbearing Forceful Foresighted Forgiving Fortitude Free Fresh Friendly Fruitful Fulfilled Generous Gentle Gifted Giving Glad Glorious Goal-oriented Graceful Gracious Grateful Growing Happy Hardy Harmless Harmonious Healing Helpful Honest Honorable Hopeful Hospitable Humane Humble Humor Idealistic Illuminated Illustrious Imaginative Impartial Important Improving Independent Individual Industrious Innocent Integrity Intelligent Interdependent Interested Intimate Intuitive Involved Joyful Just Kind Knowing Knowledgeable Learned Lenient Lively Lofty Logical Loving Lowly Loyal Lucid Magnanimous Majestic Masterful Matchless Mature Meaningful Meek Merciful Mighty Ministering Model Moderate Modest Moral Motivated Mover Mystical Noble Notable Nourishing Nurturing Obedient Objective Observant Open Optimistic Orderly Organized Original Passionate Patient Peaceful Penitent Perceptive Persevering Persistent Pious Pleasing Polite Positive Potent Powerful Practical Prayerful Prepared Productive Progressive Proper Protective Proud Provider Prudent Pure Purposeful Qualified Quiet Questioning Radiant Rational Reasonable Receptive Refined Reflective Relaxed Reliable Religious Renown Repentant Resigned Respectful Responsible Responsive Restrained Revealing Reverent Righteous Sacrificial Sanctified Satisfied Searching Seeker Seemly Sensitive Service-oriented Simplicity Sincere Sobriety Spiritual Spontaneous Steadfast Strength Striving Submissive Successful Supportive Sympathetic Tactful Temperate Tenacious Tender Thankful Thoughtful Thriving Tolerant Toughness Tranquil Trusting Trustworthy Truthful Unconcerned Understanding Unfailing Unrestrained Unselfish Uplifting Valiant Victorious Vigilant Virtuous Visionary Vital Volitional Warm Well Wholesome Wisdom Wonderful