There is an important lesson you need to learn about forgiveness that begins with understanding two things: justification and sanctification. Justification is God's legal declaration upon a sinner that the sinner is declared righteous in God's sight; this is also known as salvation. Sanctification is God working in the Christian, through the Holy Spirit, to make the Christian more like Christ. Justification is instantaneous. Sanctification lasts a lifetime. Justification is easy because we receive it by faith (Rom. 5:1; Eph. 2:8). Sanctification is difficult because it is something we do in cooperation with God as He works in our hearts daily. If we are not very sanctified in our actions, thoughts, and words, we are still justified; we are still saved because of Jesus. Justification does not depend upon our sanctification. In other words, our salvation is not dependent on our works in anyway. This justification (salvation) is based upon what Jesus did. Jesus bore our sins in His body on the cross (1 Pet. 2:24). Jesus paid for our sins, all of them. They are gone because He removed them. It is all because of Jesus and what He did and not because of what we have done. Praise be to Him.
Now, I have a question for you. Can you earn your salvation or do anything at all to merit forgiveness from God? No. Of course not. That is why salvation is by faith and not by works or faith and works. If you did not get your salvation by your works, then you do not keep it by your works, either. In other words, you do not keep your salvation by doing good or by suffering for your sins so that you might, somehow, be made good enough to be with God. It can never happen!
Finally, to the point. Some Christians, after they have committed a sin, punish themselves by retaining the guilt of their sin and do not receive the full forgiveness of Christ until they have put themselves through enough suffering that they have then "earned" the right to be forgiven. Of course, this isn't the intention of holding on to guilt, but it sometimes is the underlying reason. It is a danger because it is nothing more than trying to earn the forgiveness of God through our works, in this case, through suffering. This is an insult to the cross of Christ.
Now, I am not saying that we should never feel guilty for doing something wrong. I am saying that you should confess your sins and be forgiven (1 John 1:9). Once confessed and forgiven, it is wrong to harbor the feelings of guilt as a way to punish yourself so that you might thereafter feel you've done enough to "feel" good enough to have fellowship with God. That is what is wrong and it is sin. If that is what you are doing, then you need to realize that God does not require you to pay for your sins through feeling guilty. He has already paid the full price. Your part is to humbly and truly confess your sin to the Lord, turn from it, and leave it. By looking to Jesus and what He has done, you can let the guilt and the guilt feelings fall away from you. Put your eyes on Jesus. Praise Him for His great love and forgiveness and continue in your walk of sanctification. Lay it all before the cross.
God says, "For I will be merciful to their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more (Heb. 8:12). If God chooses not to remember your sins anymore, why should you? Why should you harbor the guilt of a sin that has been forgiven and washed away by the blood of Christ? That is what He means when He says He will not remember it anymore. He simply will not bring it up again once it is confessed and forgiven. So, if He has forgiven you and He will not bring up the sin of abortion again, then from where does your guilt come? It isn't from God. It is from you. You are punishing yourself.
Let it go. Receive the full forgiveness of Christ that comes from a loving and holy God who has saved you knowing exactly what you are and what you have done.
"For I will be merciful to their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more (Heb. 8:12).______________________________