I always ask myself the question what it is you really wants?

I can answer myself after so many year. from outside I got everything, house, family, work , kid......... from inside I am so lonely. more and more I feel I have nothing can talk with another half. I always say he is too selfish, he only take care himself. whatever the word he says, i just don't want to listerning. now most time I thought is the kids, without him can I take care them totally by myself. I found I can not change him, but I push myself too hard.